


The Choice

by PCJC24



Category: Glee
Genre: Depression, Escape, M/M, Minor Violence, Superheroes, Underage Drinking, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-24
Updated: 2013-03-04
Packaged: 2017-11-22 06:23:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 5
Words: 27,803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/606783
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PCJC24/pseuds/PCJC24
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Blaine has to choose between Sam and the New Directions, or Sebastian and the Warblers.  Will Blaine make the choice for himself or for another guy?  And which one of these two boys will drag him out of his mourning for Kurt? </p><p>Takes place during Dynamic Duets 4X07, and Sadie Hawkins 4X11 and Naked 4X12 are referenced.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Choosing

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time posting at Archive of Our Own! I've only posted on fanfiction.net in the past. Enjoy and Merry Christmas!

The Lima Bean was the same as always. On the surface it was the same everything. Blaine even heard the same sounds of metal spoons clanking inside glass mugs and blenders blending drinks. But as for the way it made Blaine feel? The café used to make him think of Kurt and their many dates together, and it still does, just not in a happy way anymore. It fills Blaine with hurt and regret, rather than love like it used to. 

At least the familiar view outside gave him a little comfort when thoughts about Kurt flooded his mind. He saw the rickety parking lot and a multitude of cars passing by every few minutes and sighed in relief. The relief was quickly gone when someone stood in his way, blocking that sight. 

“What’s wrong, Killer? Kurt dump you?” Sebastian smirked. He was holding a large cup of coffee, and he wasn’t in his Dalton Academy uniform for once.

Sebastian’s words caused Blaine to glare and stand. He frantically pulled his jacket on and pushed through the busy Saturday crowd, ignoring Sebastian. He ignored him even though he just wanted to stare at him in his jeans and his black polo that fit him so well. But Blaine wasn’t that superficial or that dumb to give Sebastian the time of day… he smartened himself up after his mistake with Kurt… or so he thought. 

“Blaine, relax, I was kidding. You just look depressed.” 

Blaine ignored him and kept walking until Sebastian spoke again, asking a question he had been dying to hear from his parents, his brother, and even his best friend, Sam. 

“Seriously, do you want to talk about it? You look one step away from…” Sebastian probably didn’t want to say it. Was Sebastian being ironically polite or just plain ironic? Sebastian was right though because Blaine was one step away from screaming. Blaine felt a temper tantrum coming on, despite the kind question. The question didn’t change the fact that he wanted to throw his coffee in Sebastian’s face. 

He stopped himself though. He couldn’t be like Sebastian, who threw a rock salt slushie in his face. It wasn’t an eye for an eye in his book, especially since he needed to talk his frustration out before he broke down. 

“I am depressed, okay? Kurt left me. And now I feel like I’m floating without him to anchor me down! Why am I so freaking needy?” Blaine cried as his fingers curled tightly around his coffee cup. He was waiting for Sebastian to laugh, but no sounds came out of his mouth for a few seconds. 

“Blaine. I seriously doubt you’re needy,” Sebastian said, “Just relax. Talk with me.” 

Blaine looked skeptically at Sebastian. But he looked freakishly sincere. His eyes didn’t hold its usual jest, and right now, if this was joke or not, it wouldn’t matter. Blaine needed someone to hear him, anyone, and if Sebastian was the only one willing to listen, then so be it. Blaine was too upset and annoyed at himself to ask why Sebastian was being so nice.

“I’m a horrible person. Horrible. It’s like I just needed someone’s, anyone’s attention, which is completely pathetic; I’m pathetic. But after what I did, I felt like I was going to die. I’m disgusting, you shouldn’t even want to be my friend,” Blaine said, trying to hold his tears in. 

“Blaine,” Sebastian said softly, gripping Blaine’s hand briefly before letting go, “I bet it’s because Kurt wouldn’t give attention to you. What a bitch… Blaine, you’re not disgusting, you’re a man. Men have needs. But really, I wished you called me instead of whoever you called…” Sebastian smiled as a glimmer of amusement reached Sebastian’s eyes. Blaine glared as Sebastian spoke once more, “Kidding, I’ve moved onto new conquests. College boys, who knew they’d be so easy and so hot?” 

Blaine felt Sebastian’s eyes glance over him, up and then down and then back up to meet Blaine’s eyes, but not before lingering on his ass for a few moments. Blaine looked like himself, nothing special. He wore a red and blue plaid shirt that peeked out of his blue winter jacket, and a pair of blue jeans that he guessed accentuated his ass due to Sebastian’s staring… But he didn’t wear a bowtie today because if Kurt couldn’t appreciate bowties and if Sam thought they were stuffy then both of them had to be right.

“Sebastian,” Blaine smiled briefly and then frowned again, “Your moral system seems off kilter, no offense. You thought it was okay to blind me with rock salt, and you encouraged me to cheat on Kurt with you when we first met.” 

“Blaine, I’m sorry about the rock salt slushie, really, and if you remember correctly you forgave me. I’m a changed man now, whether you want to believe it or not. I mean, I’m listening to you and not trying to get into those tight tight pants of yours,” Sebastian looked a little too long at Blaine’s crotch before looking back into Blaine’s eyes and smiling. 

Blaine smiled again unable to stop himself from rolling his eyes at Sebastian’s antics, “Thanks for listening, Sebastian. I actually do appreciate it, but I should go.” Blaine still hated himself as he walked off, leaving Sebastian watching his escape. 

“Wait, before you go, just know that if you ever feel like beating yourself up, or Kurt isn’t answering your calls, you can call me. I’ll answer.”

Blaine stood still, watching him, wanting to believe him. He just nodded, left the café, and walked to his green station wagon. 

…

Nights were hard for Blaine. They were a time when there was no one to combat his senseless thoughts. Even though a lot of the time, the guys at McKinley High School ignored him, and Sam didn’t completely understand his troubles or his love for Kurt. At least Sam tried to make sense of it, and told him what he wanted to hear, but Blaine never believed the nice things Sam would say about him. Blaine just wasn’t good, and what he did wasn’t okay. 

The darkness of his room just made his problems more apparent and more real. The darkness reflected his own inner loneliness, and emphasized it to the point where his thoughts never stopped. They piled up, one on top of the another, ‘I’m stupid, I’m wrong, I’m mean, I’m never gonna get him back, I’m too alone to survive, I’m worthless.’ To make matters worse, the things that reminded him of Kurt were in a box beside his bed, ready to be disposed of, but the box hadn’t moved yet. All of it—Kurt’s scarf that smelled so much like him, pictures of them together, the dried bouquet from when he won the role of Tony in West Side Story, RENT tickets from their first not official date, the Lima Bean receipt from their actual first date—just haunted Blaine further. 

It also didn’t help that his parents weren’t home again, which was normally fine if his brother was here. But Cooper booked a FOX sitcom and was shooting the pilot in LA. Coop wouldn’t be home for another few days, and if it got picked up, he’d be gone for months at a time. 

Blaine was ready to curl up and forget about life when his phone dinged. 

To Blaine  
From Sebastian  
Killer, come out with me tonight. I’m going to a frat party. You want to forget about Kurt or what? 

He did want that, but he didn’t want to go out. He just felt like lying here wasting his life away. He knew this had to be some kind of ploy…he wasn’t sure what kind yet, but he figured it either had to do with Sebastian wanting him or the Warblers wanting him. 

To Blaine  
From Sebastian  
I’ll be at your house at 11 to pick you up. Be ready. 

Blaine rolled his eyes. He had to go now... and maybe Sebastian will help him forget. His savior, Blaine thought sarcastically. 

To Sebastian  
From Blaine  
Fine. I’ll be waiting for you outside my house. 

To Blaine  
From Sebastian  
Can’t wait to see that ass, Killer. 

Blaine rolled his eyes as he got out of bed. At least he didn’t feel like crying anymore. He figured this was Sebastian trying to make his move now that Blaine was a free bird, a vulnerable free bird. 

… 

Blaine didn’t realize how long Sebastian’s hair had gotten until it fell into his face when he laughed. His whole body shook when he laughed. That laugh of his was refreshing and so carefree. It was nothing like the way Blaine felt about anything lately. 

Blaine had only asked if Sebastian was spying on New Directions by hanging out with him. He didn’t mean to be funny. Sectionals were coming up soon, but to be honest, Blaine didn’t even care about the competition anymore. He just had to ask out of sheer loyalty to his team. 

“Either way, I wouldn’t care. I can’t even sing, Sebastian. Like barely. I’d crumble under the pressure, that’s how depressed I am, and both of us know I’m normally not that kind of person.” 

“Blaine, you’d be fine performing. But really, I think it’s cute you’d think I’d spy on you. Even if I was, that doesn’t mean I don’t want to hang out with you. I’m just glad you’d even consider it.” 

“It was either this or laying in my bed in desperation,” Blaine huffed. 

“Desperately hard?” Sebastian laughed again. His eyes closing briefly, and his car swerving slightly, “Fuck, Killer, stop making me laugh. I’m driving.”

“No,” Blaine laughed, too. Sebastian’s mind seemed to always be in the gutter, but it didn’t matter because Sebastian’s laugh was contagious, even if at times it sounded stuck up. 

“Well, you will be tonight. I’ll be your wingman.” 

… 

The party had loud music, and people all over the place—it was butt to butt packed. Guys were dancing with girls, and a few people stood off to the side, or sat on couches, nursing beers. Blaine even noticed a girl grinding down on a guy’s lap in plain sight. Blaine nearly blushed. Kurt would scoff at this party, say it was trashy, but Blaine found it intriguing enough to stay. 

“I don’t fit in,” Blaine complained as they walked in further. Most of the boys wore baggy blue jeans and t-shirts, and even Sebastian was wearing that. Blaine, on the other hand, wore yellow pants with a black oxford shirt. He sure didn’t act like them either…at least not when sober. He was the only one with neatly gelled hair, too, even Sebastian’s hair was a wild mess. 

“You fit in fine! I’m gonna get us beer, you stay here,” Sebastian said over the music, patting Blaine on the shoulder before walking away. 

Blaine watched Sebastian talk with everyone, girls, boys and even dance with a tall black guy for a few minutes before dipping out to the kitchen. 

Blaine crossed his arms, pretending to be invisible when a girl came up to him, and pulled him on the dance floor. 

She was drunk beyond belief, but pretty with her long blonde hair and bright blue eyes. Even though Blaine had a bi phase once, he wasn’t drunk enough for this. He hated to be rude, so he let her drag him. He even let her grind against his front side. He fiddled with his hands, not sure where to put them, as he looked around for Sebastian. She turned around to face Blaine and leaned into him. 

“You’re so hot,” she slurred, “You wanna go upstairs?” 

“Up-upstairs? That must be off limits. Actually, I’m-” he started to say when he was cut off by a sloppy wet kiss. 

He pushed her away, but she kept moving against him. 

“I-I got to go,” Blaine mumbled, but the girl looked at him like she didn’t know what he was saying.

Then someone came up behind him and started grinding against his backside, gently gripping his hips as he slowly guided him backwards, away from the drunk girl. This guy was bent slightly at the knees, he was tall, and he smelt good, like Calvin Klein cologne. 

“Back off my boyfriend, broad,” the guy said behind him, and the woman scrunched her nose before stumbling away.

“Sebastian!” Blaine exclaimed turning around as his eyes lit up, “Thank God it’s you,” Blaine looked up at Sebastian, who was six inches taller than him. Blaine didn’t notice the height difference until now, and he didn’t want to say this, but it made him feel safe, as odd as that sounded, to be near someone a lot bigger than he was. Blaine almost wrapped his arms around Sebastian in a hug, but stopped himself, and smiled at Sebastian in relief and happiness. 

“No one else, babe. Got us beer,” Sebastian handed Blaine one, but not before gently stroking Blaine’s face that was filled with joy. 

“God, I needed this,” Blaine said, taking a long sip, “I was afraid you were some freakishly tall woman. Like it was some kind of double sided plan to seduce the gay guy.” 

Sebastian laughed, his eyes crinkling, his long hair falling into his face once again as he clapped his hand on Blaine’s shoulder, “Sorry to disappoint, just a relatively tall man here.”

“Thanks for saving me. You still want to dance? We seem to be the only two gay guys here…” Blaine said with a shrug, wondering how Sebastian found guys at these types of parties. 

“We’re not the only gay guys. Right there with the snakeskin boots, and oh there with the lip gloss, that was not from his girlfriend’s kiss, and him with the baseball cap, he has gay face. Oh and that tall one you saw me dancing with, we fucked, so obviously he’s gay.” 

“Sebastian,” Blaine warned, but smiled when Sebastian pulled Blaine to him. 

“I should hate you, you know?” Blaine said as he downed more of his beer. 

“I know, but you’re too kind, and that’s why I like you so much. So blindly trusting and pretty, and nice and compact.” Sebastian moved with Blaine, but didn’t grind against him. He just held his hips as they moved side to side, perfectly gentlemen, and absolutely surprising. 

… 

Blaine wasn’t surprised when he got to school on Monday that Sam dismissed everything he said with a confused tone. 

“Blaine,” Sam looked at him with concern, but confusion. 

Blaine was back to the self-loathing that he forgot about when with Sebastian. 

“I just hate myself for what I did. I hooked up with a guy I met on Facebook! Facebook, Sam?” The guilt still reveled inside Blaine, and his night with Sebastian had to be a farce because why else would he had that much fun with a deviant boy who pulled him out of his bed in the middle of the night? He should be hating himself, and that’s exactly what he started doing again. His break up came rushing back to him as soon as he woke the next morning with a pounding headache. 

“Let it go. You can’t change what happened,” Sam said, clapping a hand on Blaine’s back before walking off, “See you in Glee and the Society of Superheroes’ meeting. I’m the Blonde Chameleon! Jenny died on a Thursday…from Forest Gump,” Sam grinned, “Oh come on, laugh!” Sam shrugged before walking off. 

Blaine sighed. At least his superhero club gave him a chance to be someone else for a change… he was Nightbird, nocturnal avenger, not Blaine Devon Anderson, cheater. 

…

“Order, order!” Blaine hit his gavel, feeling as if he was Wes, in control of everything. The control felt surprisingly good like he should always be wielding a gavel. All he needed now was a little control over his life, his feelings and himself… 

“We have some superhero business to attend to…” Blaine started, looking over at the Blonde Chameleon, Sam, and Asian Persuasion, Tina, as someone came running into their meeting. 

“Your Nationals Trophy is gone!”

“Superheroes, we must unite and get to the bottom of this!” Blaine said, standing, and whipping his cape as he ran ahead of his own personal justice league. 

When he saw the laptop in the trophy’s place, he knew it was Sebastian and the Warblers. Who else would do that to him, especially when he just spent time with Sebastian the other day. He shouldn’t have believed that Sebastian might actually care. 

He watched the tape with the blurred out face, thinking it had to be Sebastian, but he felt the denial ripping his heart out. It couldn’t be Sebastian. Sebastian’s hair got so long, and the person in the video’s hair was short. He just must have gotten a haircut; Blaine would have if his hair was that uncontrollable. 

…

Blaine walked down Dalton’s steps when he saw him. 

“Sebastian, there you are. Of course it was you.” 

“No it wasn’t, I swear. I turned over a new leaf remember? No more bullying, blackmail or assault this year.” 

“That must be boring for you,” Blaine said skeptically. 

Sebastian just shrugged, “Yeah, being nice sucks… I’m supposed to take you to him, he’s waiting in the library.”

“Who?” 

“The guy you’re supposed to see, the captain of the Warblers…” 

“I thought you were the captain of the Warblers…” 

Sebastian smirked as Blaine walked in to see some blonde guy stroking a cat, which Blaine had to admit, was a bit ridiculous. 

Blaine didn’t want to listen to this guy who said his name was Hunter, but heard him regardless. The Warblers wanted him. He knew Sebastian being nice to him was no coincidence. 

The rest of the Warblers started coming in, one by one. They were his old friends, Jeff, Nick, Trent, and Thad, who he hadn’t seen since Michael week, when he got jealous and protective over the New Directions and Kurt, and lashed out on his old friends. 

“We all know the real Blaine, Blaine. Ambitious, driven, you’re a Dalton boy,” Sebastian said. The way Sebastian said his name made him shiver, but doubt clouded Blaine’s mind. 

“Present the blazer,” Hunter said as Sebastian held out the blazer with a smirk. 

“That’s not going to work on me,” Blaine shook his head. He wanted to not believe that he was that easily persuaded.

“You know what goes great with your new blazer, an impromptu song,” Sebastian said as he helped Blaine into the jacket and all the Warblers, starting to sing around him. Blaine buttoned the jacket. He was unable to stop the smile that came to his face, just like old times. 

Blaine led the Warblers in a Kelly Clarkson number. He sung about his dark side, how wrong he was. He wondered if they would love him even though he wronged them and Kurt. The way they sang and danced with him said they would. They were able to pick up on his moves and dance with him in sync. Their smiles said that too, and Sebastian’s eye contact spoke volumes. His eyes said ‘I would love you even with your dark side because I have a dark side, too, and you know it.’ 

“What’d I tell you? Flawless,” Sebastian complimented with a sincere smile on his face after the song ended, and all the Warblers gathered around Blaine. Blaine grinned and laughed as all the Warblers cheered. Home, Blaine thought, but it couldn’t be… 

“Don’t you think you should come back where you belong, Blaine Warbler?” Hunter added. 

Blaine looked at Hunter, then Sebastian, confliction written on his face, holding the jacket out and then taking it back when they refused to take it. Blaine looked at the blue and red jacket and nodded at Hunter and then nodded at Sebastian. He felt like he belonged there. They showered him with attention, but was that enough to transfer? If he didn’t leave Dalton, he’d probably still be with Kurt because he wouldn’t have needed any extra devotion. 

… 

“Blaine, I heard you’re transferring to Dalton. Please tell me this is some sort of super secret undercover mission to spy on the Warblers so we can win sectionals.” 

“No, Sam. I fit in there. They made me feel wanted. Dalton is my birthright and my destiny. I belong there,” Blaine said putting the last of his belongings into a box. It was a picture of him and Kurt. 

“Is this about Kurt?” 

“I cheated on him.” 

“So that wasn’t cool, but you’ve got to stop beating yourself up about it. At least take some time and think about transferring. Come on, let me show why you belong here,” Sam said, leading him into the auditorium, where they sang David Bowie’s “Heroes.” 

Jamming out with his best friend felt nice, right, good, fun. He felt a weight lifted off his shoulders as he sang. He saw Sam’s smiling face in the corner of his eyes, Sam was enjoying this as much as he was. 

… 

“Sam, Sam, grab it quick, Sebastian’s coming!” Blaine said, peeking out from the library at Dalton, seeing Sebastian running towards him in his Dalton uniform. Sam grabbed the trophy. 

Blaine whipped his cape and ran towards Sam, quickly throwing down his blazer and a sign that said “No thanks” before running out to the balcony. 

Sebastian entered just as Sam used the chord to descend down onto the ground. 

Blaine put one leg over the edge of the balcony as Sebastian approached and pulled him back by his armor. 

“Blaine, I caught you, my superhero.” 

“I am Nightbird, Sebastian, not Blaine. I don’t go by my civilian name when in costume,” Blaine looked back at Sam, who stood on the ground, looking up at Blaine and Sebastian and then at the open field ahead of them.

“Blonde Chameleon, run! Bring our trophy back to the New Directions. I’m captured, but I’ll escape,” Blaine said in a more courageous tone than usual, putting on his superhero front. 

Sebastian smirked, “Hot, Blaine. Now cut it out, you belong here at Dalton. Let’s go get your blazer.” 

“I’m Nightbird!” Blaine sighed in frustration, watching Sam run away with the trophy in hand. 

“And I’m Superman, come on, Killer,” Sebastian said. It must have been the only way he could comply with Blaine’s no civilian names rule. 

“You’re not gonna tie me up are you? Because I can get out of it,” Blaine said fiercely staying in character, “I used to be a boy scout!” 

Sebastian raised his eyebrows at him, “Oh Blaine, I wasn’t planning on bondage, but if that’s what you want.” 

Sebastian took the blazer off the floor and handed it back to him. 

“Seriously, Blaine. You went to McKinley for Kurt, and he’s gone. Not only is he gone, but he’s also ignoring you, he’s done with you. Everything there is a reminder, regardless of if you have blonde friends with really sexy mouths.” 

Blaine’s eyes widened, but he nodded at Sebastian.

“I know, but,” Blaine sighed taking the blazer, “I’m gonna get Kurt back.” 

“You have to let him go, Blaine. You’re hurting yourself. The only way to do that is to distance yourself from all things that remind him of you. Throw out everything that he gave you or ship them back to New York or LA or wherever he is.” 

Blaine looked down, wanting to cry, “I know.” 

“Yeah what you did was wrong, but Blaine, it’s not worth hurting yourself over. I promise if you come back to Dalton and the Warblers, not only will we go to Nationals with you on our side, but you’d also have me to help you forget about Kurt, and we’d also appreciate you and give you a competition solo, something you never got at McKinley.” Sebastian was right. 

“But it’s just that after I cheated, I knew that I made a mistake, that Kurt was the one for me, and I betrayed him. At first I thought it was the right thing to do, if he moved on, so would I. I was wrong, in more ways than one.” 

“Blaine, that’s your guilt talking,” Sebastian said, leading him to the couches and gently pushing him down to sit. 

Sebastian sat beside him and looked him in his eyes. “There is no such thing as soul mates, Blaine. Yes, more than one person can be compatible with one another, but it’s statistically impossible for one person to be meant to be with another person. It’s romantic bullshit, okay? You need to move on.” 

Blaine felt anger rise up in him. Why was he sitting here with Sebastian when he could be with Sam who supported him, and didn’t give him stupid ideas about soul mates that actually sounded accurate and logical…

“Dalton is the place to do that. Hold onto the blazer, okay, Killer? Return it if you really don’t want to transfer. Just think about it. And your costume, super hot, Blaine.” Sebastian winked, “You’re giving me ideas for the bedroom,” Sebastian laughed and got up. He patted Blaine’s shoulder before leaving him with his thoughts. 

Blaine rolled his eyes, wanting to laugh, but visions of Sebastian in tights and a cape, ripping his own costume off came to mind, and Blaine wasn’t sure if that pang in his stomach was nausea or butterflies. 

… 

To Blaine  
From Sebastian  
Killer, I’m at Scandals. Please tell me why all the old ones are out tonight. 40+ is not my thing.

To Blaine  
From Sebastian  
Wait. Found a 40 year old worth it. Looks 30. 

To Blaine  
From Sebastian  
No wasn’t worth it. Found out I’m 17, and fuck, is no longer interested. He said he wanted to take me home to my mom and dad. WTF? Come by, there’s no one here. 

To Sebastian  
From Blaine  
Seb, I was sleeping. Good night. 

To Blaine  
From Sebastian  
Can I come over? 

To Sebastian  
From Blaine  
Fine, but my parents and brother can’t know.

To Blaine  
From Sebastian  
I know how to avoid parents, do it all the time, sneak in quietly like a mouse… 

To Blaine  
From Sebastian  
I want to suck you off tonight btw. You better not be loud in the sack, Blaine. Hot, but not good when family’s around. 

To Sebastian  
From Blaine  
Cut it out, Seb. Are you drunk? Do I need to come get you?

To Blaine  
From Sebastian  
Cab is taking me to you. Can’t wait to see you.

… 

The knock on the door was quiet and Blaine ran to open it. His parents couldn’t be woken now. They’d freak. Sebastian was flushed from drinking, and smiling down at Blaine. 

“Blaine, hello,” Sebastian wrapped his arms around Blaine, who stiffened in his arms but slowly relaxed. 

“Shh, my parents and Cooper.” 

“I just want to sleep with you,” Sebastian whispered and then laughed as he kicked off his sneakers, and ruffled Blaine’s curls, “I love your hair like this, so sexy,” Sebastian said as he started his way up to Blaine’s room and found it with ease, lying on his bed. 

“Seb!” Blaine whispered, grabbing Sebastian’s sneakers and tiptoeing up the stairs after him. 

“Remember when we were friends? How we’d just talk about anything even though Kurt hated me because we both knew he was jealous. He was so possessive, he’d hang on you, but only when I was around, otherwise he was too scared to touch you in public. I’d touch you and kiss you all the time if we were together,” Sebastian laughed, letting out a small burp as he shifted on Blaine’s bed as if he was trying to get comfortable. 

“You lost it,” Blaine exclaimed, remembering clearly how close he and Sebastian used to be until they turned on each other. Blaine didn’t want to remember how part of that was his fault. He criticized the Warblers’ “I Want You Back” performance, claiming it wasn’t classy when it was amazing… It was just that the eye sex Sebastian was giving him set him off. Kurt would have given him shit if he didn’t stand up for him and the New Directions when Sebastian was so blatantly flirting with him. 

“Ohhhh! And remember when we almost jacked each other off on the dance floor? It was that time we went to Scandals without Kurt! You were super drunk, and super hot. Our shirts were off because we were both really sweaty from dancing so much,” Sebastian said as he sat up and starting stripping off his shirt and unbuttoning his pants. 

“It’s so hot in here, damn,” Sebastian laid back on the bed and lifted his hips to pull his pants off, tossing them at Blaine, who watched with his mouth agape. Blaine didn’t want to think of that, Sebastian’s descriptions and his actions were sort of hot, but he pushed the thoughts away, ignoring it. 

“I wouldn’t call it getting each other off,” Blaine sighed. That night they both were hard and grinding against each other. That was all. Blaine had been sexually frustrated because once Kurt had sex once he didn’t really want to do it again. He’d tease more than anything, and call that fooling around. At the time Blaine figured it was better than nothing. 

“Yeah, yeah, you’d call it dry humping without the getting each other off part, understandable.” Sebastian pulled Blaine’s blankets over him, “You’re bed is super warm, get in.” 

Blaine sighed and made his way to Sebastian. 

Sebastian looked at Blaine curiously, “Are you into that Sam kid? He has the most perfect blowjob lips. I bet you imagine those lips around your cock when you speak to him.” 

The question made Blaine pause before responding. What was Sebastian getting at? 

Blaine blushed and stuttered, “N-no, not really.” 

“Okay, sometimes I imagine your lips around my cock. That was until you shunned me. I just wanted to have fun Blaine.” Sebastian pulled Blaine by his white t-shirt and held him. 

“Stop, Sebastian, you’re drunk,” Blaine pushed Sebastian, but Sebastian wouldn’t let. 

“No, please just be with the Warblers. If you don’t, how would I ever get to know you? You’d want to hang out with Sam all day, and you’d want to think about singing duets with Kurt. But I can get your mind off him. I can,” Sebastian muttered, kissing at Blaine’s neck. 

“Shit,” Blaine mumbled, not wanting to like this, but he did. Sebastian’s lips felt smooth and the care he paid to his neck was so sensual. He didn’t want to forget about Kurt, but he definitely did with Sebastian’s company. 

Sebastian pulled away and looked at Blaine with bleary drunk eyes when Blaine suddenly froze in his arms. 

“Just please sleep, please.” Blaine whispered desperately. It was getting too heated and Sebastian was too drunk. Sebastian nodded, but didn’t move from on top of Blaine. Sebastian moaned a little and fidgeted against Blaine’s body for a few more seconds. 

Blaine sighed in relief when Sebastian’s movements stopped and soft snores were heard. Sebastian ended up with his head on Blaine’s chest and one arm around Blaine’s body. Blaine couldn’t help but brush back Seb’s messy hair. 

… 

 

“Little Bro, wake up! I’m gonna hang out with you all day!” Blaine heard faintly as he woke, but didn’t yet open his eyes. Blaine groaned, he was waiting for Cooper to notice two bodies in the bed, instead of just one. 

“Way to go, Blainey! Hot man in your bed! You’re lucky I’m not Mom or Dad, they’d slaughter you,” Cooper exclaimed, “Just don’t let men get in your way of stardom. I’ve got some major tips for you. I am now Rufus Smith, dumb loveable neighbor to a hot saucy Latina! Perfect casting right?” 

“Cooper, crap, shhh,” Blaine opened his eyes, untangling himself from Sebastian’s arms, and pulling the blankets over both their heads. 

“New boyfriend already?”

“He’s my friend,” Blaine pulled the blankets back and glared at his brother as Sebastian started to stir. 

Sebastian opened his eyes, “Where am I? Who are you?” Sebastian looked at Cooper and then at Blaine, “Blaine?” Sebastian said as a smile came to his lips. 

“Yeah, Sebastian. You better go home,” Blaine said, shoving at Sebastian to get out of his bed. 

“No, no, no, Blaine. I’m taking you and your boyfriend out to breakfast.” 

“He was just drunk,” Blaine blushed and then covered his mouth at his blurting. 

“It’s okay, boyfriend. Don’t need to make excuses, or be so coy, had we but world enough and time, Blaine,” Sebastian said as he leaned in to kiss Blaine’s cheek, and then laughed, “I need some coffee and water to get rid of this darn headache.” 

“I’m not judging, I’ll meet you downstairs in a half hour,” Cooper said and left the room. 

“Sebastian,” Blaine sighed, reaching over for his black thick rimmed glasses and putting them on so he could see, “You’re seriously unbelievable.”

“What?” Sebastian smirked and reached over and stroked Blaine’s face, gently touching his glasses, “Cute,” and then ruffling his messy curls. 

“I have to get ready,” Blaine shoved Sebastian’s hands away, “You can wear my clothes if you find anything that’ll fit you,” Blaine got up, grabbed some clothes and headed out the room. 

“Really, Blaine? You’re leaving me?” Sebastian sighed and got out of bed, rubbing his thin bare chest before digging through Blaine’s drawers, smirking when he came across condoms and a pair of handcuffs, “Oh my sweet little Blaine,” he muttered before pulling out a clean shirt and pulling it over his body, realizing how tight it was on him, and put on his own jeans. 

Sebastian was holding the handcuffs out to Blaine when he came back in and smirked. Blaine was fresh faced, hair gelled, wearing jeans that were too short on him and a black polo and a red sweater, no longer wearing his glasses.

His face went from calm to panicked as he ran and grabbed the handcuffs back from Sebastian. 

“Kinky, Blaine. Did Kurt handcuff you to the bed?” Sebastian smirked. 

“No, and he wouldn’t let me handcuff him either,” Blaine muttered, grabbing the handcuffs and shoving them back in his drawer. 

Sebastian just smiled and winked, “I’d let you handcuff me.” 

“Cut it out, Sebastian. Let’s just go to breakfast and get this over with,” Blaine pulled on his boat shoes and left his room with Sebastian following. 

…

Sam lived in the basement of Kurt’s home since Sam’s family was still living in Kentucky, which was pretty far from Ohio, and no one wanted Sam stripping anymore. 

They were lying on Sam’s bed, looking through his comic books. 

“You’re the only reason I’m considering not transferring back to Dalton,” Blaine set down his X-Men comic, and looked over at Sam. 

“That and New Directions right?” 

“No…your friendship. It seems like McKinley just equals Kurt. I come here, and this is Kurt’s house. Me and Kurt watched movies down here before it became your room.” 

“Sorry,” Sam sat up. 

“It’s not your fault, it’s me. I’m always such a downer. I’ll stop. Sebastian has been telling me to stop talking about Kurt because it’s bad for me…I mean after I told him everything three times.” 

“Sebastian? You’re talking to him? He almost blinded you.” 

“He’s different… He’s just been really getting to me…in a good way, convincing me to go to Dalton, and,” Blaine sat up to, “I just don’t know… me and him bonded, even though he’s inappropriate as always.” Blaine wanted to tell Sam about Sebastian’s sleepover and his promise of blowjobs and letting Blaine handcuff to his bed, but he didn’t. That’d be too much information.

“It’s up to you. But you can’t just transfer because of Kurt, or any guy really. You did that once. You’re life shouldn’t revolve around one guy. Do what makes you happy… okay? Now can we discuss X-Men? You’re the only one who gets this comic book stuff, definitely not Brittany.” 

“Yeah,” Blaine smiled and nodded, falling back on Sam’s bed, opening the comic book once more. 

“And if you transfer to Dalton, don’t think we won’t be hanging out. You will unfortunately still have to come to Kurt and Finn’s, I don’t exactly have a car.” 

“I know, maybe I’ll just drive you to my place,” Blaine smiled. Unfortunately, Kurt would always be around because of his friendship with Sam, “So are we gonna get back to talking about Wolverine please? I can’t talk about Kurt anymore.” 

… 

Sam came strolling into McKinley wearing shorts, boots, with no shirt. The theme for Glee club was ‘naked,’ which was supposed to be about not hiding behind facades like their superhero costumes. But it seemed like Sam took it one step further than most, because he was practically naked right in front of Blaine. 

“Oh sweet merciful Lord,” Blaine muttered towards the beauty that was walking towards him. Blaine knew Sam used to be a stripper, but didn’t realize his abs were that defined. He shouldn’t be attracted to his best friend, this was wrong, but so right, but definitely wrong. 

Sam walked over to Blaine and smirked. 

“Oh, hi Sam!” Blaine said over enthusiastically, smiling, but at the same time telling himself that Sam is straight and this would be wrong and stupid. 

“Blaine,” Sam winked and did one of his stripper moves that he called ‘The Windy City’ right up against Blaine and then laughed, “I was thinking us guys could do a shirtless calendar, so we can raise money to keep the glee club going.” Those moves had unnerved Blaine so much when he first came to McKinley and didn’t fit in, and now he was straining in his jeans over the very same moves. Sam’s crotch brushed up against his thigh when he did ‘The Windy City’ once more. 

“Wow, wow, Sam! I should…go.” 

“We still hanging out later?” Sam called out slowly, pushing his blonde hair away from his eyes. 

“Yeah, yeah, of course,” Blaine nodded quickly and scurried off. Shit, he now had two crushes, one gay, one straight, and an ex-lover who hated his guts, and wouldn’t give him the time of day. What the fuck was wrong with him? He was going overboard and had to stop. It was time he started choosing things for himself, not for any guy. 

… 

Blaine had a lot of messages on his phone this morning, but none of them were from Kurt. Sebastian and Sam were right. It was time for him to move on. 

Blaine grabbed the box of all things Kurt and dumped it in his kitchen’s garbage. He tilted his head and smiled. Relief flooded through him, but hurt still remained. While forgiveness would be nice, he couldn’t ask for it anymore. He needed closure, so he’d call Kurt one more time to say goodbye. 

Kurt didn’t answer as usual. 

“Kurt, I know you hate me, and you know how sorry I am, whether you believe it or not, I don’t know, but I’m letting you go. Even though I did wrong, and I cheated, you’re not blameless. You abandoned me and stopped listening to me, those were my two biggest fears, and you knew it. Goodbye, Kurt.” 

Blaine put his blazer on and left for school with a smile on his face. Once a Dalton boy, always a Dalton boy…


	2. Chosen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Blaine has chosen which school, but which boy is now the question? Sam? or Sebastian?

Blaine arrived at Dalton for his first day back. He walked slowly inside. He felt right in his grey slacks, his loafers and his Dalton blazer, but looking around and not knowing anybody anymore felt weird. Where were all his Warblers friends? His lacrosse buddies? The guys he started Fight Club with? The place looked the same, pristine walls, high ceilings, ornate railings, even a skylight that brightened the school. But he knew some of his friends had graduated like Wes and David, but that was two out of a dozen… 

Blaine’s breath started to quicken when he got to his first class and waited outside it, waiting for someone to grab a hold of him, but no one was there to scoop him up and pull him under his wing. 

It was still early, Blaine tried to reassure himself, Cooper dropped him off before he flew out to Hollywood to film the first season of his show that got picked up. But still, he remembered Trent always bombarding him early to talk, and Nick and Jeff pulling him away with a knowing look. Trent always had a crush on him, an innocent one, but Blaine wasn’t one to be rude about not returning his feelings. 

It’s just he was expecting Trent to run up to him and embrace him. He was his biggest supporter for his return, but hey, time had passed, and he hadn’t spoken to Trent, or Jeff, or Nick or Thad since their fight last year. And if that didn’t happen, he definitely expected Sebastian to pull him off into some dark corner and try to sneak a kiss.

He was so sure no one loved him anymore that when he saw a group of guys run towards him, he was shocked and flattered. They were all smiling at him, too! But what about Sebastian? Where was he? The person he so didn’t transfer for... 

“Blaine!” Jeff, the blondest Warbler of the bunch, said with a big smile as guys gathered around him. 

“Hey guys!” Blaine said, smiling right back as he was surrounded by everyone (literally, all the Warblers, even two of his lacrosse friends, Graham and Tristan, and the two bulky guys, Andy and Adam, who he would fight with until black and blue). All except Sebastian. Blaine should have known, how could he have been so stupid? 

“So glad you’re back!” Trent said with a big smile. And Blaine had to smile back. 

“Yeah, let’s start up Fight Club again,” Adam smirked, brushing back his long brown hair before shoving Blaine playfully yet aggressively. Blaine let out an uncomfortable laugh and nodded, remembering that time Adam knocked him out by accident, and he spent the week locked up in his room with the blinds closed and a bottle of Tylenol by his bedside. 

“Even though lacrosse practice started already, I’m sure I can get you back on the team,” Graham smiled as he grabbed hold of Blaine who was about to fall from Adam’s rough shove.

“That’d be great,” Blaine nodded, needing to get back into a regular swing of things, and join everything possible to stay busy. 

Trent voiced up again, “We already decided you get all the solos for sectionals.”

“Trent, I can share,” Blaine smiled. He was used to sharing now, and was surprised none of them were jealous of him. Kurt would have been bitching. He after all just returned and he was already their king again.

Hunter just came out from where he was hiding, “Blaine, so happy you’re here. And so happy you’re so grateful and generous with your solo giving.” Hunter had this look in his eyes like he approved of Blaine, but didn’t look too happy. Blaine really didn’t trust him. 

“Well thanks, but have you seen Sebastian?” Blaine asked, looking around for him.

“Ah, you’re boyfriend?” Hunter smirked with a wink.

But Jeff piped in over Hunter’s comment, “He’s in the locker room. He’s on the swim team, early practice, but I don’t see why you need to see him…” 

But Blaine was already running off towards the locker rooms. 

… 

“I was looking for you,” Blaine said as he walked in the nearly empty locker rooms, his dress shoes clicking on the tiled floors. Sebastian wasn’t facing him, but he just in his underwear, and was rubbing a towel on his head. 

Sebastian turned around, dropping the towel. Blaine tried not to admire Sebastian’s physique, but he couldn’t resist noticing how toned he was. Sebastian smirked. Blaine was probably so transparent. Sebastian prowled towards Blaine with the eyes of a devil, ready to coerce Blaine into eating the apple. 

“Were you?” Sebastian smirked and gently touched Blaine’s blazer, “Look at you, my Dalton boy.” 

Blaine shuffled his feet, looking down at them and then back up into Sebastian’s eyes. 

“You really are a bashful school boy? Super hot,” Sebastian leaned into Blaine and grabbed his hand and put it on his chest. 

Blaine pulled his hand away and smiled, “Seb, I didn’t transfer for you. I did it for Dalton itself.”

“Oh please.” Sebastian laughed, dismissing Blaine, “You’re so innocent, aren’t you?” Sebastian started dressing in his Dalton Uniform. 

“No.” 

“Blaine, you tracked me down for a reason today, I don’t doubt that.” 

“You’re my best friend here,” Blaine said. 

“Best friend or crush?” Sebastian laughed, “Because I thought Sam was your best friend, or is he your crush too?” Sebastian smirked. He was now completely dressed and he was now putting gel in his long hair, pushing it to the side. 

“He’s my best friend at McKinley. I chose Dalton for Dalton. I chose it so I wouldn’t be so alone, and that’s what the Warblers do for me.” 

“Maybe you really are an attention whore, Blaine…Not that I mind, I’ll give you lots of attention,” Sebastian walked over to the sink and washed his hands of the gel before turning to Blaine. Blaine found him incredibly attractive with him looking so prim and proper. For a second he looked like a gentleman, but that gleam in his eyes told a different story. He was a playful boy dressing up like a man. 

“You didn’t believe me before, now why are you being such a bitch?” Blaine was getting annoyed. Sebastian had to point out the worst in anybody’s plan. 

“Because I am a bitch,” Sebastian’s mouth gaped open and he covered his mouth in fake shock. He started laughing as he removed his hand, “More like a bastard. Kurt was the bitch, a feisty one, which makes me think you like men with a little bit of fight in them,” Sebastian winked. Sebastian was wrong on this one. Sure both Sebastian and Kurt were vocal and opinionated, but Kurt was never so open about his attractions and didn’t flirt the way Sebastian flirted… 

“I’m over Kurt,” Blaine said firmly. 

“Am I the one who is helping you get over Kurt? Am I the rebound?” Sebastian walked back to his locker, locked it and walked out of the room. Blaine followed. 

“You’re my friend. How many times do I have to say that for you to believe it? You’re not the rebound. No one is.” 

“Well okay, we’re friends then. We going out tonight then to Scandals? Happy hour is at 5.” 

“Fine, right after Warbler practice then.” 

“Good, very good,” Sebastian said, “Maybe you are my friend.” 

Blaine sure hoped so… 

… 

Blaine was drunk and it was only 7PM. He couldn’t stop laughing at Sebastian and making fun of him. 

“You’re hair is always such a mess, but when you gel it for school, it makes me think you want to be a big boy or something,” Blaine laughed, touching Sebastian’s hair. 

Sebastian raised his eyebrow at Blaine, “Babe, if you wanna pull my hair, I can get on my knees tonight.” 

Blaine listened, pulling his hair and then laughed at the small cry that came out of Sebastian’s mouth. 

“You even sound like a baby,” Blaine laughed even louder.

“At least I don’t have helmet head. What is wrong with you? You can use less gel and your curls will be controlled,” Sebastian said cruelly as he grabbed Blaine’s wrist and pulled his hand off his hair, and then grabbed Blaine’s gel filled hair and mussed it up. 

Blaine pouted and laughed, “I look like such a smart boy with my gelled hair.” 

“More like a stuck up with a stick up his ass,” Sebastian removed his hands. 

“Noooo,” Blaine laughed, and Sebastian probably thought he was denying the ‘stuck up’ claim but Blaine wasn’t. Blaine just wanted Sebastian to touch him. “Don’t remove your hands,” Blaine said as he stopped laughing suddenly and seemed serious as he stared into Sebastian’s eyes. They were so green and so enticing. 

Sebastian put his hands back in Blaine’s hair and pulled at it so Blaine would stumble towards him. 

Blaine let out a small giggle, “Oh I like that.” 

“Blaine, you always get like this when you’re drunk,” Sebastian whispered, “Stop playing with me because if you don’t stop I won’t be able to stop myself. I want to,” Sebastian leaned in to Blaine’s ear, “Rip your little sweater vest off, and those pants, and just pull your hair all freaking night, maybe tie you up, you sexy school boy you.” 

Blaine gulped, suddenly so serious now, his hazel eyes so wide and staring wantonly at Sebastian. Blaine knew Sebastian could feel his hardness against his thigh. 

“Um, yes, please,” Blaine said, looking at Sebastian; his eyes still wide. 

“I told you I’m not gonna be your Kurt rebound. I’m taking you home,” Sebastian shoved Blaine off him, put a 50 dollar bill on the bar. Sebastian then grabbed Blaine by his shirt and dragged him outside as if he was all of a sudden embarassed or disgusted by him, but Blaine didn’t notice. 

“No, no, please, Sebby,” Blaine pouted, “I don’t wanna go home, ‘less it’s with you,” he mumbled, letting Sebastian drag him out. Blaine was too drunk to realize how disappointed Sebastian was even if it was only for a fraction of a second. 

“You’re drunk, and you’re getting flirty. It’s your drunk thing. I’m gonna take you home, and when you’re sober, you can think about if you really want to be with me. If I don’t push away now, I will ravage you, Blaine,” Sebastian said, breathing against Blaine’s neck. Blaine nodded eagerly, gripping at Sebastian’s polo shirt, and stumbled when Sebastian pushed him away again. 

Sebastian walked off with such determination. He was ten feet in front of Blaine. Blaine just followed. 

“No, Sebby, no,” Blaine mumbled, looking down at his feet as he walked, “I wanna spend the night with you.” 

“Maybe when you’re sober, now get in the car,” Sebastian commanded, and Blaine got in the car with his head down in drunken shame. 

… 

The next morning Blaine woke up with a pounding headache and an urge to vomit. How did he get here in his bedroom? Last he remembered he was nuzzling his head in Sebastian’s lap as Sebastian drove. Fuck, what was wrong with him? Blaine smacked his head and then cringed as his head throbbed even more. He’d have to see Sebastian this morning. Blaine knew Sebastian would joke about how smashed he was last night, and probably would think it was okay to continue coming on to Blaine. And maybe it was okay, Blaine just didn’t know anymore. 

When Blaine arrived at school, Sebastian walked straight towards him as if he was waiting for him. 

“So do you still want me now that you’re sober?” Sebastian smirked. Blaine could see something he never really saw in Sebastian eyes before. It might have been sadness as if Sebastian always had his way with drunk boys, but didn’t really just want a drunk fling. And that’s all it was between them: a drunk fling.

Blaine’s eyes widened and he blushed and stumbled, “I’m really sorry for whatever I said last night.” 

Sebastian shook his head. His lips pursed and just nodded, “Figured.” 

“I’m just so embarrassed, for coming on to you, I almost took your pants off in that car,” Blaine hid his face in his hands, his tone low, “I’m dying right now of embarrassment. Can we never do that again?” 

Sebastian looked down and bit his lip. Shit, Blaine didn’t mean never hang out with Sebastian again… 

“I-I meant, never get drunk on a school night, we-we can get drunk on weekends,” Blaine smiled, “And I mean,” Blaine leaned towards Sebastian and whispered quietly, “I think I might I like you, and my inhabitations came out last night.” Blaine blushed fiercely when he pulled away, but he finally got a genuine smile out of Sebastian. 

“Yes, fine, this Friday then, and we’re not getting that drunk,” Sebastian smirked happily and stroked Blaine’s face.

“Okay!” Blaine smiled, but having a feeling, the not getting that drunk part was a means to Sebastian hopefully hooking up without their drunkenness getting in the way. But Blaine noticed that Sebastian never declared his liking for him…Blaine would just have to see… 

“Super cute,” Sebastian just smiled and put his arm around Blaine as they walked to class, “So are you gonna go to my swim meet tomorrow?”

Blaine nodded and smiled, “I was thinking of trying out for the lacrosse team again. I played sophomore year.”

“Do it, babe,” Sebastian leaned over and kissed Blaine’s cheek as they walked into the library where the Warblers were meeting before class. It was an emergency meeting about Regionals. 

Jeff and Nick laughed. Jeff clapped his hands on both of their backs, “Hello boys,” Jeff said and wiggled his eyebrows at him, “We’re discussing what songs we should do, which one do you want to do Blaine?” 

Blaine smiled and shrugged, not used to this attention any more, or this much of free choice. 

“Yeah Blaine, which song do you wanna do?” Sebastian whispered in his ear as they walked towards the couches and took a seat. 

“I’ll get back to you guys, I really wasn’t expecting this,” Blaine smiled as songs came rushing to his head. He finally had some control again in glee club, in life. It was wonderful. 

… 

“I can’t believe you’re gone. It sucks without you,” Sam said, turning towards Blaine. They were lying on Sam’s bed again. That’s all they did, besides Blaine being a third wheel with Sam and Brittany on their dates. 

“I know,” Blaine just said turning towards Sam and smiling. “I just had to.” Remnants of his crush bounced around inside him, but have simmered since a few days ago. 

“So are you feeling better?” Sam asked, “Now that you transferred?” 

Blaine nodded. His heart swelled. Sam was asking about his wellbeing. Blaine couldn’t help himself. Sam was so sweet in comparison to Sebastian’s crude nature even though Blaine was sure he was starting to at least like/tolerate Sebastian, especially as Sebastian’s softer side emerged. 

Blaine leaned in and kissed Sam on the cheek and then backed away and blushed. “Sorry, I-I.”

Blaine started to get up. 

“It’s okay, Blaine, really,” Sam said as he sat up. Blaine wasn’t sure if that was the truth or not, by the way Sam was sitting up so stiffly. 

“You’re just being nice, or thankful or something,” Sam said. Oh, he was so clueless. 

“I am. So grateful,” Blaine said and nodded. 

“And if you ever need a hug or anything, I’ll give you one. Stop being so shy around me,” Sam said with a small laugh, and grabbed Blaine by the waist and pulled him to him. He enveloped him in his strong arms and held him. 

Sam understood him, so well, and wasn’t afraid of his sexuality. He was even squeezing him. 

“Feel better?” Sam asked. Both of them were lying down again, and Sam was still holding him, and now Blaine was holding him back. 

Blaine nodded and put his face in Sam’s chest. Why was Sam so sweet? How was he going to stop this crush when it felt really nice in his arms? Sebastian. That was the answer… 

“Now, even though you’re no long a part of New Directions, can you still pose for that calendar? No one but Ryder and me are doing it… Maybe get some of your warbler friends or something…” 

And shit, right then, Sam was suggesting they get naked together… Blaine blushed and nodded before turning his body so he wasn’t facing Sam as Sam held him close to him. Sebastian, Sebastian, Sebastian, Blaine thought, imagining Sebastian holding him like this, and knew that would never happen, and if it did, Sebastian’s hand would trail down Blaine’s body and start caressing him to completion. Thinking of Sebastian now was useless, except for giving himself a boner. But maybe that was why Sebastian could distract him from Sam. A.) He had a chance with Seb. Seb was totally into him even if it was a physical thing only, and B.) he had to get out of here before he turned around in Sam’s arms and pinned him down and kissed the breath out of him. That’d only serve to isolate him from his one true friend. 

“I-I gotta go. Sebastian, um, Sebastian said,” Blaine muttered, untangling himself from Sam’s arms, “That he was going to work on homework with me, and then serenade me with a song. You know how ridiculous he is, but hey, entertainment right?” Blaine spoke quickly and nervously and smiled with an awkward laugh before bolting out the door. 

Blaine glanced back once and saw Sam sitting up, looking at him confused. 

Blaine drove all the way home and took an ice cold shower before his lacrosse practice. 

… 

When Blaine arrived at school in the morning, he sought out Sebastian in the locker room, but he wasn’t there. He then checked the library where they practiced to see Sebastian sitting at the piano. 

“Sebastian!” Blaine smiled and walked towards him. His step had a hop to it as he sat down beside Sebastian. 

“What is it Blaine?” Sebastian tinkered at the piano and glanced at Blaine with a smirk, “Happy to see me?” 

“Yeah, so what if I am?” Maybe Sebastian wasn’t the right choice to stop himself from crushing on Sam. He probably didn’t really like him. 

“It’s a good thing, a real good thing” Sebastian gently stroked Blaine’s face briefly and put his free hand on Blaine’s knee. 

“I wanted to ask you something. I was talking to Sam, and he wants to do this shirtless calendar to help support New Directions now that they aren’t going to regionals. Principal Figgins said he can’t fund them anymore. So anyway, I’m going to do a shirtless photo,” Blaine said, waiting for Sebastian’s approval or response. 

Sebastian just raised an eyebrow and nodded for Blaine to continue. 

“So I’m going to be December, and he wanted me to recruit friends because no one wants to do it, but him and this sophomore Ryder… would you do it, please?” Blaine had a cheeky smile on his face and nudged at Sebastian. 

“That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard, but if it means getting you shirtless, fine, though getting the Warblers in on it is desperate and a stupid move,” Sebastian rolled his eyes and then laughed, “So are you gonna be shirtless Santa?”

Blaine nodded. 

“That’s so perverse, Blaine,” Sebastian laughed and shook his head. Blaine bet Sebastian was going to like this. Blaine rolled his eyes and just played the piano with a skill that surpassed Sebastian’s. Blaine had to ignore Sebastian’s smirking and hand rising up his knee, even though it was very difficult. Blaine felt his breath catching in his throat as Sebastian’s hand stopped caressing his upper and inner thigh and he got up. 

“You’re a tough sell, Blaine,” Sebastian just said, “Hot, but playing games. You owe me. Today after school, swim meet, Dalton pool. I better see you cheering me on.” 

Blaine finally looked at Sebastian and nodded as he still played the piano flawlessly. 

… 

Blaine snuck on the upper stands at the pool at Dalton. He was a few minutes late and hoped he didn’t miss Sebastian’s race. Who knew what the consequences of that would be? Probably some more inappropriate thigh caresses, probably this time, he’d go a little further up, and they probably would be at lunch or something. Blaine would not be able to not react if Sebastian was really that bold. 

Blaine walked towards the front of the stands and took a seat with the rest of the audience. Blaine looked around for Sebastian and there he was in a red and blue speedo and a towel around his shoulders. Blaine smiled and kept staring in his direction until Sebastian finally looked up and smiled back and then pointed to his right/Blaine’s left as he blushed and covered his face with his towel. A coy Sebastian? Intriguing. But, Wow, blushing worked on him, it took away all his devilish features and replaced them with a sweet angelic smile and rosy cheeks.

Even though Blaine found Sebastian really cute blushing like that especially since Sebsatian never got shy, he wasn’t sure what Sebastian was pointing to. He looked to the left as two people were walking towards him, a tall brunette man wearing dress pants, oxford shirt and a silk scarf wrapped around his neck, and a blonde woman wearing a purple couture dress and high heels. They looked like they didn’t belong at a school swim meet, not at all. 

“Blaine,” the man said with a smile, and the woman nodded her head towards Blaine and smiled a pink lipstick smile. 

“Um, hi,” Blaine smiled, standing up to shake their hands, polite as ever, “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

“I’m Sebby’s mom, Emmanuelle,” she said with a French accent. Sebby? Blaine couldn’t help but smile even wider at that, how cute. 

“And I’m his father, William. Sebastian said you might be coming,” he said. He was American, but Blaine wondered if he too had connections to France. He had a French style about him, much like Sebastian did. Blaine wondered where Sebastian’s arrogance came from because neither of his parents exhibited this trait, yet anyway… 

“Sebastian talks a lot about you,” Emmanuelle added in. 

“Only nice things I hope,” Blaine smiled. He was such a charmer with parents, except his own. 

“Come on, son, let’s sit and watch Sebastian. It looks like he’s up,” William said as he motioned to the seats right next to him, and they all sat as Sebastian dived in the water. 

Blaine watched Sebastian swim and couldn’t help but jump up and cheer for him. He clapped, “Go Seb! Go!” He screamed out and when Sebastian won, Blaine turned to Sebastian’s parents hoping to see the same level of enthusiasm, but not quite. They were smiling and standing right beside him, but not screaming like he was. Blaine guessed it made sense, they looked really prim and proper. 

“Way to go Seb!” Blaine called out one last time when he was sure Sebastian could hear him since he was out of the water and being awarded a gold medal. 

Sebastian waved and smiled wide and gave Blaine one finger, indicating him to wait, as he ran off into the locker rooms 

“So, you must be so proud of him, he was amazing, so fast, like a dolphin,” Blaine exclaimed, unable to not be happy for Sebastian. 

“We are. Sebastian always had a knack for anything he tried. He’s a natural at pretty much everything,” Emmanuelle said. 

“He sure is,” Blaine said and smirked, finally realizing where Seb got his arrogance. 

“Are you his boyfriend?” William asked, and it was Blaine’s turn to blush, “Oh, it’s not a problem if you are, we were just wondering. He’s spoken a lot about you, but he’s never locked down on one guy. Something happened when he was in France that he just hasn’t been able to get past, and if you are his boyfriend, or if you care for him, I hope he moves past what happened.”

Blaine’s eyes widened and he nodded, “He never told me about France. I’m just a really good friend. I really don’t think he likes me like that,” Blaine looked down, he was sure of this. Sebastian never said it back.

“He’s just not good at showing it, he tries to shield himself, son, now go meet him,” William patted Blaine on the back as Sebastian came out of the locker rooms with wet hair and an athletic suit on. 

“Oh okay,” Blaine said, getting up and going downstairs to meet Sebastian. 

“Hi, you were really good,” Blaine said as he couldn’t help but get really close to him. He wanted to hug him, but restrained himself at the last moment. Someone had hurt Sebastian, and made him like this, so distant and cold. Blaine didn’t understand yet, but he would, maybe if he didn’t pressure Sebastian and let him trust him. 

“Thanks,” Sebastian said, and put his arm around Blaine as they walked out.

Blaine couldn’t help himself as he rested his head on his chest for a moment before lifting it, “Hey Sebastian, now that I met your parents, will you meet mine? I have to go to this dinner on Saturday, and I really just want to bring a date to show my parents that it’s okay for me to be gay. I just realized how nice and accepting your parents are after meeting them, and… I’m rambling, crap.” 

Sebastian just put a finger to Blaine’s lips and nodded, “I’ll be there, but you owe me.” 

… 

“Blaine, we can bail out of your parents party if you want…” Sebastian said. They stood outside on Blaine’s front porch. It seemed like they were suspended in time as they stood there. Blaine surely didn’t want to move. 

“No, we have to go. I have to make a statement.” Blaine finally spoke. He let out a sigh, wishing for a minute, his parents were like Sebastian’s, open and cultural and liberal. 

“Didn’t you make that enough with Kurt? He wears women’s clothes, Blaine,” Sebastian laughed. They weren’t even dating yet, and Blaine was sure Sebastian was thinking mean things about Kurt, and how much bringing an effeminate date to a party would cause way more of a statement than Sebastian would, at least when Seb was on his best behavior, which he promised Blaine he would be. 

“No. I never invited Kurt to my dad’s parties.” 

Blaine saw the look of shock on Sebastian’s face. 

“I swear I’m not using you. Shit, saying that makes it seem like I am.” 

“I’m used to it, don’t worry, Killer,” Sebastian said. Blaine didn’t like hearing that Sebastian was so used to being used, for whatever reasons it may be. But Sebastian lightened the mood as he Sebastian smacked Blaine on the back as he pushed Blaine to enter the party with him. It was a congressional party, celebrating Jeremy Anderson’s big win as Senator. 

Blaine was on polite mode, smiling sweetly at everyone he saw, shaking hands, patting backs, and introducing Sebastian as his friend. 

When one of Blaine’s uncles commented that Sebastian must be his boyfriend in a joking tone, Sebastian grit his teeth. 

“It’s okay. He always does this,” Blaine whispered and just nodded at his uncle and smiled. 

Sebastian right then put an arm around Blaine and kissed his cheek with an exaggerating cooing noise as if adoring Blaine. 

“Okay, okay, enough, enough,” Beverly, Blaine’s mom, separated his uncle who was turning red from Blaine and Sebastian, “Blaine, who is this honey?” 

“My friend from Dalton, Sebastian.” 

Sebastian still had his arm tight around Blaine. 

“Okay, sweetie, well nice to meet you, Sebastian. Enjoy the party. Just please Blaine, daddy wouldn’t like it, you showing off your boyfriend, you know that reporters are here,” She whispered. 

“I know,” Blaine sighed and pulled Sebastian’s arm off him. 

Just then Jeremy walked towards Blaine and Sebastian. 

“Hello Sir,” Sebastian said politely and smiled as Jeremy, put his arm around Sebastian and walked off with him. 

“Tell me about yourself,” Jeremy said. Blaine sensed the dislike immediately, as if he could smell that kind of thing, like he was a dog. But in actuality he just knew his dad. Blaine watched as his father led Sebastian off to the kitchen, where there were only cater waiters and their family’s private chef. 

“I’m a senior at Dalton. I met Blaine last year through the Warblers.” 

“Who’s your father?” 

“The State’s Attorney, Sir.” 

“Oh,” Jeremy smiled, “Very good, William Smythe, huh? We met briefly, and I’m sure in my new position we’ll be meeting even more.” 

“Yeah, definitely.” 

“So you play sports?” 

“I’m a swimmer, and I was thinking of playing lacrosse with Blaine if I can still try out, the season’s started already.” 

“Oh yes, Blaine does play lacrosse, and he used to play polo and fenced, but gave those two up for the singing.” 

“Yeah, he’s very talented.” 

“That he is,” Jeremy smiled, “Alright go off and spend time with Blaine. Just be a bit discreet, son.” 

Sebastian nodded and headed back to Blaine with a smile on his face, “I think he might actually like me.”

“I can tell, he hated Kurt,” Blaine whispered to Sebastian. His eyes were all wide in shock, “And me and you aren’t even dating.” Blaine didn’t want to say why, but Blaine thought it was because Sebastian was more manly… he hoped he was wrong, and that it was because his father just didn’t think Kurt was right for him. Did that mean Sebastian was right for him? That made him a bit sick, but Sebastian wasn’t that bad…

“Not yet, anyway.” 

“Not yet,” Blaine nodded repeating Sebastian’s words and gave him a quick hug that eventually turned into something longer as Sebastian wouldn’t let go, and leaned into his hair and put his face into it. 

Blaine’s heart beat faster before pulling away, “People are watching. We’re supposed to be discreet.” 

“So? You know I don’t play by the rules” was all Sebastian said as they held onto each other, hearing gasp after gasp and one faint awe in the mix. 

Blaine sunk into the grasp and closed his eyes, imagining himself away from this party and just alone with Sebastian. He never expected this of Seb, he always thought he was only a sex symbol, but maybe he was wrong. He had to be. 

…

“I can’t believe we’re actually doing this,” Blaine said as he slowly took off his shirt. He felt like everyone was watching: Sam, Sebastian, Artie, Ryder, the photographer, who happened to be Brittany, and Tina, who happened to be the make up artist and happened to develop an unrealistic crush on him. 

“You look hot,” Sebastian said. Seduction was heard in his voice. He kept staring at Blaine like he wanted to lick him up, gently touching his bare chest. The slightest, gentlest touches caused Blaine to breathe out heavily. The barest of touches were the sweetest, most sensual ones. Blaine knew though that if he was to take his pants off now, everyone who see him half-hard through his boxer briefs. 

“Sebastian, please, stop,” Blaine whispered back. 

“What? Lucky you’re December Santa, and I’m April Showers, I get an umbrella and rain boots and a raincoat, that’s it, and some bikini underwear, feel lucky, Blaine,” Sebastian smirked, fingering the bright yellow raincoat, opening the coat ever so slightly to show just enough skin. He licked his lips at Blaine and laughed. 

“Guys, stop the flirting please, thanks. Sebastian, you’re up.” Sam, all of a sudden, interrupted, and Blaine let out a nervous laugh. 

Sebastian didn’t say a word, but stared at Sam in his flowery shorts and sandals, he was obviously May Flowers, and Sebastian was obviously appreciating Sam’s body for its beauty. Blaine couldn’t blame him, but still, Blaine didn’t want them to like each other, he just wanted them both to like him. 

“Loosen up, is it because you like Sebastian? Because you know I approve, right?” 

“I guess,” Blaine said and shook his head as he slowly inched off his jeans. He was still semi hard from Sebastian’s flirting and touching. He quickly went to grab his baggy red pants, hoping Sam wouldn’t notice or care that he was hard, but Blaine ended up tripping over his feet and right into Sam. 

“Um,” Sam said, “Dude,” as he caught him. 

Blaine so knew Sam felt him hard against his leg, “Oh God, oh God, it was because of Sebastian. He, he was flirting before,” Blaine scrambled for words. Sebastian was wearing nothing, and so was Sam. At least Sebastian could be an excuse. Well, a reason…it had nothing to do with Sam, this time. 

Sam didn’t say a word, but looked a bit constipated and puzzled as he walked away. Blaine finally was able to put his baggy pants on with no problem except for the embarrassment and shame that he felt exploding inside him. Sebastian’s laugh didn’t help either. His laugh rang in his ear and sung a song of sheer delight. 

… 

“Sam, I really have to apologize,” Blaine started once the photo shoot was over. Sebastian was waiting in his BMW Roadster for Blaine, claiming he couldn’t be around these public school losers any longer, and Blaine was surprised that he was okay with even coming to this shoot in the first place.

“It’s okay, I know you like me. And yeah, I realize you like Sebastian, too.” Sam nodded, picking up the last bag of camera equipment. 

“I do like you,” Blaine looked down, “You’re just so nice to me, and cute, and your body,” Blaine’s voice lowered and then he blushed deep red. He shouldn’t have said the last part. What was wrong with his mouth? 

“I understand, but I’m straight. Guys don’t really turn me on, even though you’re really cool, and sometimes I think about you know kissing you, I know I won’t like it, and you won’t either. I was thinking that maybe if I kiss you you’ll get it in your head that we’re not right for each other, that kisses from straight guys just lack that want and passion,” Sam looked serious. And Blaine’s mouth was agape. Sam had thought about kissing him? Blaine couldn’t even imagine what that daydream looked like. It was probably of the embarrassing kind, where Blaine kissed Sam and Sam had to push him away and give him a lecture. Not like Blaine’s dreams of kissing Sam, where Sam held him down on the bed and thrust into him with such vigor and want. 

Blaine shook his head of that thought, and finally responded. This couldn’t happen, “Maybe that’s a bad idea. It’s not like we go to school together, and the tension between us won’t be a problem.” Plus, he had Sebastian… 

“But we hang out every day practically. You need to get this crush out of your system, so get over here before Sebastian comes looking for you.” 

Blaine inched closer to Sam tentatively. ‘That boner really was for Sebastian’ he almost said as Sam’s mouth came closer, but glad he didn’t speak because that would have been embarrassing. 

Blaine stood on his tippy toes as he gripped Sam’s arms and Sam wrapped his arms around his waist as their lips met. 

Sam lifted Blaine up with ease and Blaine wrapped his legs around his waist as they kissed. Blaine felt tingling all over as they kissed, and let out a moan. When Sam slammed him against the wall, his crotch came in contact with Blaine’s. 

Sam quickly separated, and dropped Blaine. Blaine fell to the ground without Sam’s support. He looked up at Sam, who had worried eyes. That boner had definitely been for Sam this time. 

Blaine stumbled up, breathing heavy, embarrassed. That was so awkward, it couldn’t happen again. He needed a friend in Sam, not a fuck buddy. He grabbed his bag and ran out the door straight to Sebastian. 

He got in the car, “We need to get out of here, fast,” Blaine said, buckling up. 

“What did you do?” Sebastian asked, taking in Blaine’s rumpled sweater and his crooked bow tie. 

“Oh my god! I knew it!” Sebastian exclaimed, “Something happened with big mouth guy!” Sebastian laughed. The laugh sounded off. 

Blaine was never good at hiding, so he let out a nervous laugh, “It was nothing. You’re not mad?” 

“No, we’re not together. But damn, Blaine…” Sebastian said and for the rest of the ride to Blaine’s house he looked determined, and he stayed quiet. 

Once he parked, “Blaine, can I come inside?” Sebastian asked. His eyes looked calculating and domineering all at the same time. 

Blaine nodded. No one was home. 

As soon as they got to Blaine’s room, Sebastian’s eyes locked on Blaine. 

“Today, you were super hot, I just wanted to take all your clothes off,” Sebastian said, and Blaine gulped as he looked at Sebastian, and nodded in concurrence, but Blaine didn’t like that look in Sebastian’s eyes were off, so un-Sebastian like. 

Sebastian kissed at his neck as he started to undress him. Now he had to choose between Sam and Sebastian, not New Directions and the Warblers… Right now though, Sebastian was winning because he was gay, clear and simple. But Sam, he was so rough with Blaine and strong, but now he had a connection with Sebastian that he never thought he would have… it wasn’t awkward or wrong or shameful with Seb, not at all. And that’s all it had been with Sam, he was sure, Sam would be more careful about touching him next time they hang out if they ever hang out again... 

Something deep down was aching in his heart with Sebastian, something felt wrong, like this should be more, like these kisses to his neck that felt so sinful and right were wrong. Being with Sebastian had to be more than a hook up. 

As Sebastian lowered Blaine on the bed, “Sebastian, this should mean more for us,” Blaine whispered as he searched Sebastian’s eyes. Sebastian was hurt. Blaine probably hit a nerve with Sebastian. Whatever happened to him was triggered by this very moment. 

“I’m sorry I kissed Sam, I wasn’t thinking,” Blaine whispered again and Sebastian nodded as he got off Blaine. 

“You know, maybe I should go. I know we’re not together, but I need to get home,” Sebastian got up, and Blaine nodded, but all he wanted was for Sebastian to stay. 

“Please just stay, we don’t have to do anything,” Blaine begged quietly, and Sebastian shook his head no. 

“See you in school, Killer,” Sebastian said softly and left with a small wave.

Blaine wanted to scream. He hadn’t changed. He was needy in the worst ways possible, he shouldn’t have let Sam kiss him. Yeah the kiss was hot, but in the end he was left with nothing more than regret and a fall to the ground. No wonder Kurt left him, but to think he wasn’t even good for Sebastian? That made him hate himself even more. What had Blaine become?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please review or give kudos! Thanks!


	3. No Choice: Fate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sebastian is taking Blaine's discretions hard, Sam and Blaine talk about their kiss, and someone from Blaine's past shows up.

Sebastian ended up joining Dalton’s lacrosse team like he said he was going to. Blaine thought Sebastian would join only if they were friends, but he was wrong. Apparently, Sebastian actually liked the sport. He played last year and brought the team to victory. Sebastian was disgustingly good at it, way better than Blaine, and the guys on the team swarmed around him like he was their king. Sebastian flung the ball with ease, and scored goals as Blaine struggled across the field and passed to the good scorers. 

As Blaine watched Sebastian from where he was standing. Blaine should have been playing the sport, but he was dead stopped in the middle of the field. His teammates yelled at him to move. Blaine ignored them in favor of staring at Sebastian as Sebastian ran towards him, an intense look on his face. Blaine took a deep breath and braced himself for what he knew was about to happen. 

Blaine didn’t even know what they were, especially since Sebastian always made sure he was on the opposing scrimmage team. Blaine swore Sebastian did it just so he could tackle Blaine to the ground every chance he got. 

Sebastian’s tackles were neither friendly nor flirty. They were mean and crude, and Blaine felt like he deserved them. Cheaters deserved this kind of thing… Blaine was sure of it. And even though this constant abuse was starting to get to him, he tried his best to take it. 

Sebastian smirked and laughed and as he shoved Blaine to the ground even though Blaine didn’t have the ball. Sebastian leaned in and stared intently at him. Thankfully, this time Sebastian wasn’t groping Blaine’s thigh like he did last time. 

“Sebastian, stop, please,” Blaine whispered. It was the fifth day in a row he was under Sebastian, and not in a good way. 

Blaine was surprised their coach didn’t yell at Sebastian. Seb’s tackling was a trend. Their teammates talked about when they thought both of them were out of earshot: “Oh, Blaine must have done something bad,” “Sebastian never gets this aggressive, or takes anything too personal,” and Blaine’s favorite was “Sebastian must really like him…or really hate him.” Blaine hoped beyond hope that Sebastian didn’t hate him. 

Blaine could already feel bruises forming on top of bruises, and he didn’t even want to care as he laid there under Sebastian, looking up at how Sebastian’s anger illuminated his good looks. The sun casted down on Sebastian, making his freckles on his face more noticeable. Blaine almost passed out from the sheer bittersweet beauty of it all. Blaine was sure he’d never get this man, or another as long as he lived. He was meant to be alone, he was sure of it in this moment. Despite that, he wanted love and forgiveness, so he could at least live his lonely life in peace. 

“Please,” Blaine begged, this time holding onto Sebastian as tight as he could, so Sebastian couldn’t get up and run away like he normally did. 

“Please forgive me,” Blaine had his eyes closed tight and opened them, hoping his eyes communicated his desperation to Seb.

“There’s nothing to forgive,” Sebastian whispered back and he struggled out of Blaine’s tight grasp. 

This wasn’t going to be easy. Sebastian was lying to himself if he thought there was nothing to forgive. The only thing Sebastian would say to him was a quick hi in the hall and then he’d scurry off. He didn’t even insult Blaine anymore. He just gave him intense looks, rough tackles and small waves. It was deeply disappointing when Blaine wanted to be yelled at, so that he and Sebastian could get their hate out of their system and move on. Then maybe Sebastian would tolerate him at least. 

It was Kurt all over again, except worse. Not only did he hate himself, but he’d have to face Sebastian every day, during Warbler meetings, during lacrosse practice, during English class, in the hallways, at parties. Sebastian’s friends were his friends. And he didn’t even have Sam anymore to be that one person of solace that had nothing to do with Sebastian. He had to reconnect with Sam. He needed his friendship. 

… 

Blaine finally gathered the strength to call Sam. 

“Hey Sam, it’s Blaine,” Blaine said into the phone quickly, hoping Sam wouldn’t hang up. He was icing his arm where Sebastian had ‘accidently’ hit when knocking him to the ground. 

“Oh, Blaine, sorry I haven’t been in touch…after…that. Listen, I have a girlfriend…” 

“I know that. Our…kiss,” he said quietly, “made me realize how we aren’t right together. Do you want to come over though, so we can talk about this? I’ve just been needing a friend, and you’re really my only friend, as stupid as that sounds…” 

“Um, no, that’s not stupid at all. Why don’t we go to The Lima Bean instead to talk?” 

“Oh, yeah…yeah, definitely. Thanks, Sam, ” Blaine said quickly and sighed. 

He looked himself in the mirror and wondered if the reason they were hanging out in public was because Sam was afraid of him kissing him again… and a public place would be the perfect for not giving into temptation. 

… 

Sam walked into The Lima Bean with big sunglasses on. Blaine almost rolled his eyes. He wondered where his Blonde Chameleon costume was…not like that was much of a disguise anyway… it was an ugly old man suit, just like his sunglasses were a crappy way to hide. It was obviously still Sam Evans. 

Blaine motioned Sam over to the corner where he was sitting. 

“I got your coffee, light with one sugar,” Blaine smiled. 

Sam hesitated before taking the coffee in his hand. Blaine felt like a pariah, but figured, maybe buying Sam an apology coffee felt too much like a date for him. 

“You didn’t have to…Blaine, the kiss was awkward, but it’s okay because you’re my bro. I told you.” 

Blaine nodded and smiled. Blaine knew that they were still bros even though their kiss was somewhat awkward. The only real awkward part was when Sam dropped Blaine purposely letting him fall to the ground. Before Blaine was dropped on his ass, the kiss was sort of nice, and a little fast and a little sloppy, but still nice. 

But Blaine didn’t want to argue because ultimately any awkwardness meant the kiss was bad. 

“You’re so right! So right! My crush on you is so over. Not that I don’t find you attractive because yes, you’re good looking,” Blaine said and then covered his mouth. It was running again. He let out his classic nervous laugh. 

“It’s okay,” Sam rolled his eyes. 

“It’s just I’ve been having some trouble with Sebastian. We were sort of together, and our kiss, it, um, really messed it up. And Sebastian has been so intense lately, but he has mostly been ignoring me, and I just feel so alone,” he didn’t want to tell Sam about the tackles, but getting this off his chest made him feel better. 

“Oh? Well I’m sorry that I did that, I didn’t mean to. I just wanted to make sure you knew we weren’t right…for each other. It’s just the kiss, it scared me, so if you don’t mind, from now on I was thinking we shouldn’t really touch that much anymore,” he whispered, but Sam’s green eyes screamed that he might actually want to touch Blaine, “I mean especially with you and Sebastian on the rocks…but overall, Blaine, I’m not mad at you, at all, and we can still be friends.” 

“I’m really glad about that, Sam. I need a friend. Sebastian is always around with my Warbler friends, and you are my escape,” Blaine smiled. The smile felt dangerous only because Sam was still adorable, and he was still there for him, despite any fear of Blaine and him kissing again. “I can’t take this loneliness, you know how I get. And it just sucks that Sebastian is mad at me for kissing you back when him and me weren’t even together. Maybe I missed something. He just won’t talk to me, and it’s killing me, and sometimes, most of the time I know I deserve it, full heartedly,” he said as he thought really wanting to tell Sam that Sebastian likes to push him around on the lacrosse field, rather than verbalize his hurt. 

“Oh, come here, Blaine,” Sam laughed quietly and just grabbed Blaine from his seat and wrapped his arms around him. 

“I thought we had a no touching rule,” Blaine mumbled, “But if you need help figuring out your sexuality or whatever, I can help.” 

“No, Blaine. I don’t. You just needed a hug,” Sam said, rubbing Blaine’s back as Blaine practically toppled on Sam and plopped down in his lap. 

“We’re in public,” Blaine muttered, stiff in Sam’s arm. 

Sam squeezed him before letting him go. Sam just laughed, “I’m comfortable with my sexuality. I just had to make it clear that you and me can’t date. You need to work on getting Sebastian back. Think of something that will get his attention. Maybe you should call out for help when you’re near him, like you did with me.” 

Blaine sat back in his chair, noticing eyes on them. People thought they were together after that weird display, and it didn’t even matter. Blaine nodded his head at Sam, “You are a genius, Sam. I need to show him how hurt I am, how he makes me feel when he gets so rough with me.” 

Sam stopped sipping his coffee and stared at Blaine. He must have been thinking, rough? What? 

Blaine just shook his head. “Thanks, Sam, you’re the best, but I’ve got to go. I have a late lacrosse practice, and I know what I have to do, and it’s not going to be pretty.” Blaine patted Sam’s shoulder before leaving the café. 

As he walked out of The Lima Bean, he let him self soak up all the grief he felt about this Sebastian situation. He went as dark as he could. Sebastian’s betrayal of him and Blaine’s betrayal of Sebastian made his heart hurt. Even the wind, so strong, and the dark storm clouds were beating against Blaine, matching his mood. 

He gripped his steering wheel as he drove to Dalton. He imagined Sebastian’s hurt eyes that Sebastian thought he shielded so well, and Blaine felt tears sting his eyes. It was time to let it all out. He just had to wait for Sebastian’s next tackle, which if he doesn’t do today, Blaine will probably break down on the field and make a scene, a scene so bad that his coach might call the psyche ward. It’d include pulling hair and falling to the ground, probably even crawling to Sebastian and pulling grass out of the ground as he want, and most of all it’d include letting out gut wrenching primal cries. 

A tear fell from Blaine’s eyes, imagining himself breaking down in such a way, as he exited the car and went straight to the locker rooms. 

He changed next to Sebastian without a word or a glance exchanged. Blaine felt it though, felt his sadness pool in his stomach. This had to end today. 

Sebastian’s avoidance today had been worse than usual, only because he didn’t even say a quiet hello in the locker room like he normally would. It was as if his most recent tackle would be the last—but it couldn’t be. Blaine could not break down in front of his whole team, he only wanted to do it in front of Sebastian, someone he trusted despite his misguided treatment of Blaine. Blaine didn’t even complain about the bruises all over his body from Sebastian. He just let Sebastian hurt him. He deserved it. He was cheating on someone he wasn’t even with, that’s how bad he was. He was just a natural born cheater, not worthy of love, care or compassion. He took Sebastian’s trust, what little Blaine had, and destroyed it. 

Today as soon as Sebastian tackled him to the ground, which Blaine was oddly so grateful for, because it was the end of practice, and Blaine was ready to throw his helmet to ground and scream. Today, Sebastian stayed on top of Blaine longer than usual, and just stared and breathed on him. Blaine bet it was because he had been groaning to himself all practice, and Sebastian took notice. Blaine normally would try to at least appear a bit more cheerful than he felt inside. His need to be proper always kicked in over any emotions he felt, but not today. 

Blaine looked up, breathing just as heavily. He was exhausted from trying to run around the field, but today, he wasn’t running from Sebastian like he normally did. 

“Please, just hurt me,” Blaine cried out, unable to keep his silence any longer, “I’m sorry, I deserve to be beaten up everyday. I deserve you hurting me,” Blaine’s voice got all clouded with tears as they started to flow, “Next time hit me with your lacrosse stick. I betrayed your trust. You and me were together, it was unspoken, and I broke that trust by kissing Sam. I don’t even like Sam, I don’t. He’s just a good friend. I like you. It’s you, Sebastian, it’s always been you,” Blaine was now crying, and hiccupping for breath. He really had no one, and loneliness killed him. He hadn’t slept for days and contemplated taking a razor to his wrists. He had no Sebastian, and definitely no Kurt. 

“Please, Sebastian,” Blaine sobbed. Blaine almost let out a scream as he shook under Sebastian. 

Blaine wanted to beg for pity, but the words wouldn’t come out of his mouth because he was crying so hard. He closed his eyes and tilted his head to the side and then looked back up, blinking his tears away but they kept falling out of his eyes. He was surprised to see the compassion and shock in Sebastian’s eyes because until now Blaine had just taken the tackles and Sebastian’s eyes were hazed over with pride. 

Sebastian very slowly stroked Blaine’s lips with his thumb through his protective helmet, “Shh,” Sebastian said very softly, “Don’t cry, Blaine.” 

The team started to gather around them because once Sebastian knocked down Blaine he would only stay for a second or two, say a few cruel words and then get up. No one was expecting Blaine and Sebastian to stay like that for over a minute. 

Sebastian and Blaine ignored them as Blaine nodded and gulped. 

Sebastian ripped his helmet off and gently took Blaine’s off, and leaned down and brushed his lips against Blaine’s damp cheek, leaning in to whisper in his ear, “I’m sorry, too, Blaine, for continuously making you feel like you deserve to be beat up. I was just acting out.” With those words Sebastian got off Blaine. 

“Guys, back off Blaine, okay. Let’s get back to drills, Blaine will join us in a minute.” Sebastian said as Blaine slowly sat up and wiped at his eyes. He didn’t know weather to feel happy Sebastian might have forgiven him, or really confused at what just happened and wonder what would happen next. 

Blaine got up, put his helmet back on and rejoined the team. Everyone didn’t stare, but rather, gently patted Blaine on the back in silent encouragement. 

He caught Sebastian’s eye when the practice was over and Sebastian smiled at him. 

… 

Sebastian watched Blaine from on the field. How he struggled to keep up with the team, how he looked like he was limping, how he took in ragged breaths, how he collapsed to the ground for a few moments, how sometimes he’d stare off into space when he was supposed to be practicing, how he’d lay on the bench sometimes and look like he wanted to die. 

There hadn’t always been this sad quality to Blaine, but when Blaine got upset, he got upset. Sebastian understood sadness and regret, and he felt the need to push and prompt Blaine to punish him after making a fool of him by kissing another guy. Blaine had the right to, they weren’t together, but it felt like they were. It felt like they were two lonely guys meant to be together because no one else would have them, no straight guy, no married man, no college student, no ex-boyfriend, no best friend, no French elite… Just two fucked up lonely souls coming together in times of need. Sebastian just wouldn’t give in yet. He refused to. He still wanted to push Blaine to the edge just to see what he’d do. 

Sebastian watched Blaine get back on the field, and decided he had to give Blaine his daily punishment. The sadness is Blaine’s eyes normally made him satisfied, happy to cause pain because of all the pain he felt. The sadness was always brief then immediately Blaine’s guard would be back up as if it never was broken down.

When he slammed into Blaine and he fell as usual, and Sebastian straddled him. He noticed extreme desperation in Blaine’s eyes, like any small thing would cause him to react, so Sebastian stayed there and stared. It wasn’t Blaine’s normal sadness. It was extreme as if something deep inside Blaine collapsed between Friday’s tackle and today’s. Probably Blaine’s heart or his soul. 

Even though Blaine looked extra sad, he didn’t expect Blaine to start crying and tell Sebastian to hurt him. No, not tell, beg. Blaine was begging to be hurt, and to be beat up… by Sebastian. If Blaine was standing he would have dropped to his knees and clasped his hands in prayer. Blaine thought he deserved this. 

Sebastian had never seen Blaine this sad, not even in regard to Kurt. He never saw all these tears come out of his eyes and his regret for what happened. He didn’t want to be the cause of Blaine’s pain anymore. He felt like he was going to vomit at how brutal he was.

He normally would say Blaine was pathetic for crying, but he wasn’t, he was beautiful when he cried, and Sebastian had to stop messing with him just because he had a difficult past with guys and had major trust issues. 

“I’m sorry,” Sebastian whispered ever so softly against Blaine’s helmeted cover ear. He lingered there for what seemed like forever. He even took off Blaine’s helmet, kissed his cheek and stroked his face. Blaine needed his attention. Hopefully, it wasn’t too late. He didn’t know what Blaine was capable of. He just knew that he had to stop pushing this boy around. If not for Blaine’s sake, then his own. Who else would just accept him after all he done to hurt him? He almost blinded Blaine, and now he was breaking his heart, and practically his bones. Sebastian felt tears come to his eyes and fill his throat and he held Blaine to him, taking in smell that should have been musty and sweaty, but was sweet. Sebastian tried his best not to cry as he listened to Blaine cry underneath him. 

“Please don’t cry, not because of me,” Sebastian said so quietly. His heartbreak must have been clear in his voice because Blaine nodded and sucked up his tears. 

… 

 

“So you’re not mad at me?” Blaine said when Sebastian sat next to him before Warbler practice began the next afternoon. 

Sebastian just shook his head no, and then spoke, “If anything you should be mad at me. I’m an asshole, Blaine, 100% jerkified. I-I toyed with your emotions and let you think you were nothing when you were everything, and I was scared and jealous, and unforgiving. It was me, who is in the wrong. I knew what I was doing to you and how sensitive you are. Fuck,” Sebastian pulled at his long hair, causing it to look a mess, “And I’m really freaking sorry. I do this sometimes if I’m jealous, or feel used, or…” Sebastian looked down at his hands that were now in his lap. Blaine never wanted to make Sebastian feel that way. 

“It’s okay, Sebastian,” Blaine said softly and tentatively took his hand, “I forgive you, and I guess myself too. I hate that I made you feel used,” Blaine shrugged slowly.

When Sebastian stayed silent and just held Blaine’s hand back, Blaine continued, “Maybe we are good for each other. We just are two fuck ups.” 

“We really are,” Sebastian nodded in agreement and leaned into Blaine, “Two lonely fuck ups, who are just such jerks who can’t have anyone else. But if I’m being honest, Blaine. You are the sweetest thing ever to happen to me, so innocent, and I betrayed that innocent and naiveté. It’s just sometimes you don’t think before you act, you just do, when you’re really hurt. And I understand that feeling, Blaine. I do the same. I did it to you, like you did it to Kurt. And the guilt you feel, it’s so strong, and I took advantage of that because I was so freaking hurt by you. I normally don’t admit this,” Sebastian was bright red, and looked so shy and beautiful. 

“Sebastian,” Blaine said softly, and gently touched Sebastian’s hot face with his cool hand, “I didn’t want to hurt you. Not at all.” 

“I know, I really know… And we can’t be together, not yet anyway, after what I did, and what you did. But we can be friends.”

“I’d like that,” Blaine nodded and gently nudged Sebastian with his shoulder as the rest of the Warblers came rushing in. 

“Hey, Seblaine is back!” Jeff exclaimed, whooping. Blaine wanted to roll his eyes at that nickname for him and Seb together. 

“Are you kidding me? They never stopped. That tackling was personal,” Hunter rolled his eyes as he sat down, “Let’s begin now that we’re all friends again. Blaine, did you pick a song?” 

“I, I did. Begin Again by Taylor Swift. It’s about being in a new relationship with someone, just the beginning of it, and forgetting about your ex because this new guy is so amazing. I want to try to make it into a duet, and sing it with Sebastian. If he’d want to sing with me. Would you, Seb? I know we’ve been through a lot, and didn’t speak for about two weeks, and I’ve got a lot of bruises from your deathly tackles.” 

“Yeah, absolutely, Blaine.” Sebastian nodded, and all The Warblers smiled. 

“Fucking finally!” Jeff cried again, “There is peace and rainbows at Dalton!” 

Jeff sprung up from his seat, slapping Nick on his back, humming The Lumineers’ song, “Ho Hey,”—“Sing lead, Blaine! You too Sebastian!” Jeff exclaimed with a grin before singing backup. 

Sebastian got up and pulled Blaine up. Blaine smiled wide and started the verse. Things were getting back to normal, and Sebastian hadn’t let go of Blaine yet, and pulled him to him into a slow dance. 

“I belong with you, you belong with me, you're my sweetheart,” Blaine and Sebastian sang to one another with the Warblers backing them with the “Hos” and the “Heys” as they surrounded them in a circle. 

Sebastian dipped Blaine and Blaine grinned up at him, never feeling so right and happy as he did in this moment.

…

“I miss spending time with you,” Blaine whispers, taking hold of Sebastian’s hand as they walk down the hall after Warbler practice. 

Sebastian didn’t say a word just looked at Blaine as they walked. 

“So, um, I know we’re not together, but um, you want to get a coffee at the Lima Bean or dinner at Breadstix? I can tell my mom not to cook for me…” Blaine said, and Sebastian stayed quiet.

“Or like you can come to eat at my house. I think my mom might hate you, but my dad doesn’t,” Blaine rambled, “And, like…Sebastian?”

“Hmm?” Sebastian looked over at him. 

Blaine grabbed Sebastian’s other hand and pulled him to him, and stood on his tippy toes to make eye contact with Sebastian. 

“You’re so still mad at me,” Blaine cried out and let go of Seb’s hands so fast that he fell to his heels. He started to walk away when he was pulled back. 

“No, Blaine. I’m mad at myself, even though yeah, this holding hand thing is a bit weird for me, no! Not weird, new. I’ve never done it, okay? Never. My relationships have been one night stands, except for that one guy, and I won’t mention that one guy, and he, he never wanted to hold my hand or be seen in public with me, and if we were in public together, they’d think, they’d think he was my father, that I was his 13-year-old son. And the French, the French didn’t care that if we kissed, they thought it was okay, like there’s no fucking social, sexual rules there,” Sebastian spit out, and then his eyes got all wide, like he couldn’t believe he just said that to Blaine, and then he started to run off. 

“No! Sebastian! Please come back!” Blaine frowned because oh God, poor Sebastian. Sebastian was making it sound like he was taken advantaged of by an older foreign man. It seemed as if Sebastian had learned the ropes from a sexual deviant, and now Sebastian didn’t know how to be in a normal relationship. 

Blaine was running after him. And maybe he shouldn’t be. Maybe Sebastian needed space after that confession, but then maybe he really was like Blaine and would be contemplating taking his mother’s pain pills and falling asleep for a good long while. 

Sebastian was fast, way faster than Blaine. Sebastian did two sports for one season, and his stamina was far beyond Blaine’s. The three weeks Blaine was on the lacrosse team, he barely got back into his exercise routine, but Sebastian was already in shape and flying ahead of Blaine. 

“Sebastian! Stop running!” Blaine breathed out. Sebastian was out of the school building now, and into the parking lot. He ran straight for his car and unlocked the doors and got in. 

Blaine slowed his pace, hoping to God that Sebastian wasn’t stupid enough to drive in his state. But Blaine finally got to Sebastian’s car, and stopped at his window and knocked. 

Sebastian’s head was down, leaning against the steering wheel. Blaine felt like it should be raining right now to make this scene that much more emotional and theatrical as if Sebastian’s tears weren’t enough. 

Sebastian was pounding his fist against his dashboard as he let out a scream he muffled in his arm. 

Blaine opened the door that Sebastian was probably too distraught to lock and he grabbed Sebastian’s shoulders and brought him to look at him. 

“Stop, please, Sebastian,” Blaine said, his voice steady. But then he saw Sebastian’s red face and his tears. 

“I’m so fucking embarrassed, Blaine.” 

Blaine’s eyes were wide as he pouted, feeling horrible. Blaine didn’t know what to say to him. 

“You can cry, I cried to you, and I thought you hated me,” Blaine said softly, looking at how distraught Sebastian looked. He looked so unlike himself, but a raw open version of him. It was breathtaking, and 100 percent real, more real than Blaine had ever saw Sebastian. He just wanted to take Sebastian in his arms, but he didn’t. He couldn’t. 

“I’m just as fucked up. It-it was the most fucked up thing, Blaine. And my parents, didn’t notice till too late, and, and I thought I wanted it until I was 15 and a little smarter, then I realized it was abuse. How sick is that? A 13-year-old with a 40-year-old? A 40-year-old friend of my father’s.” 

“You didn’t know better, God Sebastian, come here,” Blaine didn’t even care as he shared the seat with Sebastian and wrapped his arms around him. 

“No one but my parents and my therapist know,” Sebastian whispered, “And I can’t believe I’m crying into your chest,” Sebastian said but buried his face in Blaine’s Dalton uniform and just kept it there. 

“It’s okay, it’s okay,” Blaine whispered and held him, “I won’t leave you because of it.” 

“You don’t think I’m disgusting? Because I am. I’m like a user and a whore. You don’t even know how many men I’ve slept with since I was finished with Pierre.” 

“I don’t even care.” 

“I’ll corrupt you, you’re so innocent and beautiful,” Sebastian stroked Blaine’s face that had tears on it too, “I even made you cry, that’s how sweet you are. What I said before was true, Blaine, just because you did one thing wrong, doesn’t make you the devil. I’ve done so much worse… you know blackmail, assault, that kind of thing.” 

“I forgave you for the rock salt. I’m a very forgiving person, if you hadn’t noticed. I let things go unless I’m the one to cause the pain to someone else. And the blackmail was kind of funny though, that picture was so ridiculous of Finn,” Blaine smiled and Sebastian let out a small laugh. 

“It was, wasn’t it? Now Killer, get in the other side, we can have dinner together if you want,” Sebastian rolled his eyes as if he was giving into Blaine, but Blaine knew better…Sebastian was pretending to not want to give in. 

“My house? Want to wreck havoc and mess with my parents?” Blaine smirked, and Sebastian nodded. 

… 

It was a long emotional week filled with both Blaine and Sebastian’s tears, and unexpected confessions, and even Sebastian’s polite behavior in front of his parents as they ate dinner. 

“So, Blaine, your brother called and wanted to invite you and a friend,” Mrs. Anderson looked over at Sebastian when she said friend. She was warming up to Sebastian, probably because he was emotionally exhausted today and very quiet, “to L.A. for your winter break, if you want to go. He needs family at Christmas. I don’t want him to be lonely. Hollywood seems to get that way. You see how those stars get crazy. They start drinking and doing drugs and shaving their heads while they cry. He’s successful now and going to be on TV.” 

“I’d love that. I wouldn’t want Coop to go down that road. Would you want to, Seb?” 

Blaine’s eyes were wide, and he was doing his best to convince his friend, who he had a major crush on to come with him. 

“I’d have to ask my parents. I think they’re going to France, and I don’t really want to go, so yeah probably most definitely,” Sebastian smiled, a real genuine smile. 

Blaine gripped Sebastian’s hand under the table briefly. 

“So are you guys seeing each other? Because we like you Sebastian, and I’m so glad to see Blaine happy again,” Mr. Anderson said as he put a piece of meat into his mouth. 

“No, we’re not,” Blaine said removing his hand from Sebastian’s grip. 

“Oh, well, it’s just I sense some connection there.” Mr. Anderson said, taking a sip of wine and then filled up all of their glasses, including Sebastian’s and Blaine’s. 

“There might be,” Blaine shrugged, taking a sip of his wine, “but we’re not rushing into anything,” Blaine said when he heard the doorbell ring.

Sebastian watched Blaine as he opened the door. There standing with his hair as coif as ever was Kurt. His arms were crossed and his eyes were wary. And surprisingly, he was dressed like a boy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me what you think, give me suggestions or ideas! Thanks!


	4. Old Choices

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> People from Blaine and Sebastian's past come back.

“Kurt?” Blaine exclaimed in surprise, “Um, hi, hi, come in. Come in, Kurt. This is just so strange, seeing you here.” 

Blaine looked so eager, polite, and welcoming, albeit taken aback by Kurt’s sudden arrival. Sebastian guessed it was good Blaine didn’t plan meetings with Kurt. That’d mean trouble for Blaine and him. Sebastian found Kurt’s pushy possessiveness embarrassingly needy; and glad today he wouldn’t be witness of it. As the new man in Blaine’s life, Sebastian would be neither pushy nor possessive. He wouldn’t need to be. Rude? Yeah Sebastian might be that. Secretly, Sebastian wanted Blaine to be rude to Kurt, but rudeness wasn’t in Blane’s nature, and while that purism is what Sebastian liked so much about him, he was sure a sassy Blaine would turn him on a bit. Sebastian would just settle for ripping Kurt to shreds himself with his words and glares. 

“I got your message. I-” Kurt started to say when he must have spotted Sebastian because he didn’t continue speaking. Kurt just walked inside, shocked. 

“Um, I can explain. Me and you were over, and me and him became friends. Plus, I left that message two months ago, Kurt. When I said I was moving on, I meant it,” Blaine said. He could feel Sebastian staring and itching to come and court Blaine away. 

“I know. I’m in Ohio to visit my dad. You can move on, but with him, Blaine? Really? Are you sure he wasn’t who you cheated with because this looks rather suspicious?” Kurt said rather loudly. His voice screamed holier than thou as if he didn’t do anything wrong. Blaine let out a soft sigh. Sebastian could tell Blaine wanted to scream out to Kurt, probably to tell Kurt he was falling for Sebastian, but Blaine stayed quiet. 

“No, he wasn’t, and if you would have let me explain you would have known that. Which you didn’t even give me the opportunity to do.”

Kurt scoffed, and Blaine continued speaking, “And yes, I’m really with him now, Kurt. You abandoned me and moved on. We were over long before we broke up. I swear, he’s a good guy,” Blaine said softly. 

Kurt rolled his eyes in disbelief. Kurt would never think Sebastian was misunderstood, and that Sebastian could have a soul. Kurt most definitely didn’t believe that Sebastian could hurt and bleed real honest to God blood. Kurt was too skeptical about people who wanted to take Blaine away from him, and it was understandable. Blaine was a catch, but now Kurt would be stupid enough to think he’d ever get him back. 

Blaine’s mom huffed at the scene in front of her. She started cleaning off the dinner table at Kurt’s admission. They hadn’t even finished eating. 

Sebastian slowly got up, his eyes still on the pair, but started helping Mrs. Anderson clean. 

Mr. Anderson gripped his cloth napkin. Sebastian bet he wanted to kick Kurt out, but did nothing as he stood and walked past Kurt and Blaine without a word. Mr. Anderson gave his son a look and then motioned to the door before walking upstairs. Well then, Sebastian was right about that. Everyone in this household disliked Kurt, except maybe Blaine. Blaine was so forgiving. He was even smiling at Kurt. Sebastian looked away and sighed, hoping to God his smile was forced. He needed to ignore these feelings bubbling up inside him. They were telling him to claim Blaine as his own right in front of Kurt, but he wasn’t like that. So, he focused on helping Blaine’s mom. She looked a wreck—just extremely uncomfortable and frantic. 

“Relax,” Sebastian said softly to Mrs. Anderson, “Ex-lovers’ quarrels are never pleasant,” Sebastian picked up the dishes and brought them into the kitchen. 

“I know, Sebastian. It’s just for months… Blaine was so hurt. I didn’t know what to do,” she whispered, following him into the kitchen, “Don’t tell Blaine that. He can’t know how worried I am about him. Sometimes it just hurts. When my baby hurts, I hurt too.” 

And Sebastian right then felt guilt, like a punch to the lungs, he couldn’t breathe. He did the same to Blaine. She must have just not noticed, or thought it was because of Kurt, too. 

“I’m sorry, Mrs. Anderson,” was all Sebastian said as he cleaned off the dishes, putting the scraps in the garbage can. He didn’t know if he was apologizing for her feelings or for him hurting her son. He sighed as he tried not to ease drop on Kurt and Blaine, but regardless heard Kurt begging to be let back into Blaine’s life. Sebastian didn’t want to hear it, so he focused on Blaine’s mom instead. 

“You’re a good boy, Sebastian. You dragged Blaine out of his funk. I appreciate that, son,” Beverley said, gently patting Sebastian’s shoulder, “He’s just a lonely boy. All he’s got is you and that Sam boy. I’m so glad they’re friends again. You know after his brother left when he was 12, Blaine dug a hole and buried himself for months. He takes everything very seriously.” 

“I know,” Sebastian nodded, wanting to be everything Beverly thought of him. “I’ll protect Blaine, and be good to him. I’ll do my best,” he professed with more sincerity then he ever thought he’d have towards a boy. He glanced at Blaine, and tried not to be scared to love and be loved by such a pure soul. 

“Thank you, son,” she caressed Sebastian’s shoulder just as Kurt and Blaine walked in the kitchen. 

The tension in the room increased. Sebastian felt Kurt’s daggers directed at him, or maybe it was directed at his shoulder, where Beverly’s hand was caressing, giving him a motherly touch. 

Blaine smiled at the mother-son display, and gently scooped up Sebastian, and pushed him towards Kurt. 

“We were gonna get coffee,” Blaine told Sebastian, “I told Kurt you had to come with, that whatever Kurt had to say to me he could say it in front of you.” 

Kurt didn’t look happy. His mouth was in a thin line, and he looked like he wanted to glare at Sebastian. Sebastian wanted to bitch slap him, but figured that wouldn’t go over well with anybody in the room, so Sebastian just casually put his arm over Blaine’s briefly to let Kurt know Blaine was his and then let him go. 

“Blaine, honey, maybe that’s not a good idea. I really don’t want him in our house after what he did to you,” Beverley whispered, but it was loud enough so everyone could hear. Kurt’s eyes squinted in offense at Mrs. Anderson and clenched his fists as if stopping himself from reacting. Sebastian wanted to laugh at Kurt’s anger, but he was a changed man, so he stayed quiet. 

“Mom, don’t worry. I’ll be fine,” Blaine smiled cheerily. He always took things so lightly until reality sat in, then he freaked out. 

“I do worry. You were locked in your room for days, Blaine,” she whispered, “Until this one,” motioning to Sebastian, “Dragged you out in the middle of the night. Don’t think I didn’t know that, and you know why I didn’t say anything, Blaine?”

Blaine’s eyes were wide, and he let out a nervous laugh. He must have thought he had gotten away with it. “Um, mom, what are you talking about?” 

“Because you finally were out of the house, and you were having fun. Just please be careful, okay?” 

Blaine nodded and then shrugged before joining Sebastian and Kurt at the door. 

…

“It’s not like we’re officially together,” Sebastian could hear Blaine say to Kurt as they walked ahead of him in the parking lot of The Lima Bean. It stung, and Sebastian wanted to pretend like it didn’t. He kept a flat face and kept listening. 

“You were my world, were being the keyword. You abandoned me, and Sebastian was there for me when I needed someone,” Blaine professed. Well, thank goodness, Sebastian thought, this was going the way he wanted it to. 

“Couldn’t you have latched onto someone straight or a girl? Like Sam or Tina? I came to forgive you,” Kurt sighed. “And even if you are with Sebastian or not, I’d like to be friends and eventually be with you again,” Kurt said as if Sebastian and Blaine as a couple would never last. It just wasn’t a labeled at the moment. 

“We can be friends, yes, but not boyfriends,” Blaine said incredulously like he couldn’t believe Kurt was encouraging cheating after having been cheated on. It was a way of life that Kurt despised yet here he was promoting it? To Kurt it seemed to not matter if Blaine was with someone.

Blaine continued speaking when all Kurt did was grit his teeth at him, “And yes, I’m friends with Sam and Tina if you really cared… ” Blaine said bitterly, thinking about how he kissed Sam and how Tina’s friendship was burgeoning on a crush. How ironic. The two people Kurt would never have suspected taking Blaine away from him were the two that could have if the circumstances were different. He didn’t want to tell Kurt that because everyone would be even more mortified than they already were, especially since Sebastian did not approve of his kiss with Sam. 

Blaine glanced back as Sebastian and reached out for his hand and took it as they entered the café. Blaine was surprised as Sebastian gripped his hand tightly. Sebastian even pulled Blaine in front of him and held his hips as they waited in line. 

Kurt glared and crossed his arms as he stood in front the two, and went up to order his coffee.

Blaine smiled at the barista as he untangled himself from Sebastian, “Seb, why don’t you go sit with Kurt? I’ve got the drinks. I know what you like.” 

“Are you sure?” Sebastian asked, digging into his wallet and putting his credit card in Blaine’s hand, “Use this, babe.” 

“Okay, thanks,” Blaine smiled and gently shoved Sebastian in the direction of a table where Kurt was currently taking a seat. 

Sebastian walked over to where Kurt was sitting. 

“In a bad mood, Kurt?” Sebastian smirked as he sat down. 

Kurt frowned at him. 

Sebastian leaned in and whispered harshly, “Look, Kurt, regardless of what Blaine says, me and him will be boyfriends very soon, so I suggest you back off. He’s not interested if your little bitch face,” Sebastian sneered. 

“Yeah, and why would he be interested a guy who blinded him?” 

“Well, Kurt,” Sebastian said sarcastically, “Because I meant to blind you, now didn’t I? And both me and Blaine don’t like you very much, do we?” Sebastian shook his head as if to confirm his answer. 

Kurt rolled his eyes, “You must be brainwashing him or something. You are disgusting.” 

“And you are such a child. You couldn’t handle your New York life and the hottest guy in all of Ohio. You shouldn’t be mad at me or Blaine, but yourself,” Sebastian crossed his arms, as he let out a sigh. 

Sebastian didn’t know why he agreed to going here with them. But if getting Kurt off Blaine’s back was a reason, he’d stay. He had the worst day he had in a long time. All his bad memories came rushing back to his consciousness, and he had these dull aches throughout his entire body like an impending depression. It was probably because he embarrassed the crap out of himself by accidently telling the guy he liked his secret about the pedophile who sexually abused, and now he had to deal with gay faced Kurt Hummel. 

“Oh please,” Kurt rolled his eyes, and admitted defeat, “You can have him. You two are perfect for each other, cheaters. No one else would want either one of you.” 

Sebastian was sure Kurt didn’t mean it. He’d be back to claim Blaine if he ever had the chance to win Blaine over again

Sebastian was about to reply when Blaine came back and gave Sebastian a look like what the heck was Kurt saying. Sebastian hated how hurt Blaine looked. Sebastian hoped it wasn’t because of the mean things Seb said to Kurt, but figured it was Kurt’s last statement. 

Blaine set down two cups and Sebastian’s credit card, “I got you what you like, I should have remember to bring a flask filled of cognac,” Blaine looked at Sebastian like he wanted to say, like you need it. His hand gently touched Sebastian’s shoulder and rubbed it. 

“It’s fine, me and Kurt were just becoming friends here.” 

Blaine looked skeptically and then laughed, “No,” as he sat, “I don’t think so… Kurt, you can believe that me and Seb aren’t destined for one another just because we made mistakes, but so did you, Kurt. You are always entirely blameless for anything that happens to you. Because of that you’re perfectly fine and over me. And that’s okay, I’m over you too. I’m with Sebastian.” 

“Who said I’m over you? I guess I really should be though because clearly you like this jerk. And you are not even making sense, Blaine. You just said you and him aren’t boyfriends, yet you’re together.” 

“Kurt, a lot of things don’t make sense to you. Boy clothes for one, I mean even though you’re trying with the vest, why are you wearing a headband? And why are your pants that tight? I can see you’re not packing, Kurt,” Sebastian laughed. 

“And bisexuality,” Blaine chirped in, causing both Kurt and Sebastian to look at him. Blaine looked so determined to voice his opinion. Sebastian wasn’t sure where he was going with this, but Seb guessed it was targeted at Kurt. 

Blaine continued, taking a deep breath, as if he noticed them both staring at him. “It’s like me thinking I might like girls was completely and utterly stupid. I was confused. And then later when I was alone, and needed you, you weren’t there, Kurt,” Blaine’s voice started getting higher and tears filled his throat. 

Sebastian put a hand over Blaine’s hand and caressed it gently, not taking over the conversation, just letting Blaine speak. 

“Oh this is ridiculous. I don’t even think we can be friends now if this is how you feel.” 

“Okay, Kurt. You wouldn’t even listen to me or hear my side of the story, and when you see me and Sebastian together, you jump to conclusions. I’m sick of you’re holier than thou attitude,” Blaine let out a small sigh, relaxing when Sebastian’s hand was over his, and took a long sip of his coffee. 

“Now, I need the cognac,” he muttered into his cup and Sebastian laughed. Blaine was special and if Kurt couldn’t see it, he was stupid. People made mistakes and should be forgiven. Sebastian forgave Blaine for all his digressions, and would again in a heartbeat because Sebastian knew morality wasn’t black or white from personal experience. 

… 

“Blaine, I think I need to go home and think about today,” Sebastian sighed softly. They were sitting in Sebastian’s car at Blaine’s house where they left it. 

“I know. A lot happened. I’ll see you,” Blaine stared at Sebastian. He glanced down at his lips, realizing how he even looked good in the dark. Blaine wanted to lean in and kiss him, but didn’t. Sebastian looked annoyed. 

“I mean one of the biggest things I’ve learned about you is that you were considering bisexuality?” Sebastian smirked. Sebastian always knew how to make light of any situation

“That is the one thing you got out of today?” Blaine rolled his eyes, thinking Sebastian sure was something. 

“Yeah, the rest I knew. Like how Kurt is a bitch, knew that.” 

“It’s a long story. Drunk kiss with Rachel. I’ll see you in school tomorrow,” Blaine said as he got out of Sebastian’s car and gave him a wave. 

Sebastian smirked back and waved, “Lucky girl,” he said teasingly as Blaine shut the car door. 

… 

Sebastian got home and looked around at his house: the modern furnishings, the tall ceilings, the chandelier. Something felt off. It was normally very quiet when he got home, but not today. He heard noises come from the kitchen. He heard this very familiar laugh, and this French accent that took him back to when he was 13-years-old. 

“I’m gonna catch you!” Pierre shouted with a loud laugh as a young Sebastian ran around the backyard of his family’s chateaux. It was almost summer, and he hated being stuck inside studying all day when the weather was so nice, so he spent his free time outside. And it just so happened that Pierre was an awesome playmate. None of his other teachers would play with him, so that was what made Pierre number one in his book. 

“Yeah right, you’re an old jeezer,” Sebastian called back with a sarcastic laugh. 

Sebastian would be lying if he didn’t find Pierre cool for an old guy. He was everything Sebastian wanted to grow up to be. He was cultured and smart, and he was a ridiculous amount of fun. He was like a kid himself, and Sebastian didn’t have many friends. Sebastian would swear it wasn’t because of him, but because his parents put him in a home schooling program.

“Older, but I am fit,” Pierre laughed as he slowed down, letting out a long breath. Sebastian slowed too, walking extra slow and taking long steps. 

“Come on, get me!” Sebastian stopped now, waiting for Pierre. Pierre started running again towards Sebastian.

Pierre caught up to Sebastian, and scooped the young boy into his arms, “We should be working on your French now, you know?” he breathed out. Sebastian let out a huge happy laugh. 

Sebastian looked up wide-eyed as Pierre caressed his face, “Oui, but I like recess the best though.” 

“I know, Baby Bas,” Pierre said as he moved to carry the gangly 5’6” boy and set him gently on the ground. Sebastian went to get up, but Pierre straddled him and tickled him instead.

“Stop,” Sebastian giggled, pushing Pierre’s hands away, “I’m not a 5-year-old. Tickling would never work on me,” but regardless he still laughed. 

“I think it did,” Pierre laughed looking longingly down at Sebastian, stopping his tickles. Sebastian just stared back innocently. 

“So we’re going to have a longer recess since mom and pa aren’t home, you like that right, Bas?” Pierre asked, stopping his tickles. The tickles turned into soft caresses of Sebastian’s chest. 

Sebastian nodded, as Pierre’s hand trailed down Sebastian’s body, and the young boy gulped, stuttered, blinked and just laid there, taking it all in as if he he had to because Pierre was his teacher. It was like Sebastian had to take this because doing this kind of thing was what it meant to be an adult. Pierre always said that part of his job was to teach Sebastian how to be a man. 

Sebastian shook himself out of the memory. He let out an uneasy breath at the thought. He slowly made his way into the kitchen, hoping to God that laugh wasn’t Pierre’s, but there Pierre was. He was standing in his kitchen, and he looked older than Sebastian remembered. He had more wrinkles and his dark hair was greying. He was still pretty attractive though and his blue eyes still pierced through him. 

Sebastian’s heart stopped as he tried to back away from him. His fight or flight instinct was on overdrive. He felt was anger and regret, and a very small amount of nostalgia. After he got over the initial shock of an older man wanting him, he started enjoying Pierre. He was funny and so smart. He taught him all the French he knew, and his touches felt good. But deep down Sebastian knew it was wrong, but didn’t admit it until he told his older next-door neighbor, Emily. Sebastian wanted to try something he learned from Pierre on her. She looked disgusted and told him how that was illegal for an older man to be doing sexual things to him. She claimed it messed up his mind because apparently 14-year-olds shouldn’t be acting like that. Now, years later, Sebastian was sure she was right. 

His parents knew he was with an older man because Emily told them, but Sebastian never said it was his Dad’s trusted friend, and Sebastian’s professeur. Sebastian was embarrassed that he let that happen, and that he liked it for a short time. It really sunk in after his mother cried and his father yelled at him until his voice was sore, and after he moved back to Ohio, it made him fill every void in his life with sex. 

“Um, I’ve got to go. I actually forgot something at Blaine’s. Homework I need to still do,” Sebastian stuttered, thinking he probably couldn’t even go to Blaine’s. He’d probably cry again, and he couldn’t do that. He just couldn’t. 

“Oh, Sebby, say hi to Pierre. You remember him, he stayed with us for a few months while in France, he was your substitute tutor when Monsieur Louis went on leave. He’s such a nice guy. Don’t be rude.” 

Sebastian stayed quiet and looked at the dark haired man, who wore black dress pants and an oxford shirt with a tie. He remembered once Monsieur Louis came back, Sebastian would sneak to Pierre’s house and lay on the floor mattress and let him touch him, until one day Pierre forced Sebastian to touch him. 

“Mom, this is 50% of my grade.” Sebastian’s eyes widened. He needed to leave before all these memories crowded his brain and he threw something. 

“Oh, Sebastian. It’s so good to see you. My have you grown. 17 now, huh?” Pierre said in his thick French accent. 

“18,” Sebastian said. He wanted to scream, but you don’t like adults. He clenched his fists instead. What was going on with his life that it all had to crash down on him? A ton of bricks were falling down on his head, and like those ton of bricks his life was breaking apart. 

“Wow, and you have gotten tall,” Pierre set down his tea, walked over to Sebastian, and just looked up at him, amazed. 

Sebastian towered over him now. Pierre was at least 4 inches shorter than him. 

“Well yes. I am an adult now, after all,” Sebastian said frankly before continuing, “I’m going over to my boyfriend’s now, and well, got to pack a bag. It was nice seeing you.” Sebastian backed up, turned and ran up the stairs to his bedroom. It didn’t even matter that he was lying. Blaine was so not his boyfriend yet. He wasn’t ready for that step, but in times like this name-dropping the word boyfriend was all he could do to feel safe from a sexual predator. 

“Shit, shit, shit,” Sebastian muttered to himself as he threw clothes and toiletries in his bag. Why was this taking so long, where were half the things he needed? Fuck, it didn’t matter. Blaine would let him borrow anything he needed. He grabbed his cell phone, slung the duffle bag over his shoulder and looked up. There in his eye-line was Pierre. 

“Sebastian,” Pierre said from his bedroom door. 

“Who let you up here? My boyfriend will kick your ass. He’s a boxer,” Sebastian threatened. What was he thinking? Yes, Blaine boxed, but Sebastian could take care of himself. He was strong and athletic. Though two against one was normally better though, so why not get Blaine in on the fight. Blaine would fight for his honor. 

“I missed you, but you’re sure not a baby anymore,” Pierre said as he inched closer to Sebastian, and gently touched his face. Sebastian wanted to gag. He watched that hand from the corner of his eye as it stroked him like it used to and remembered that hand on other places of his body. He felt fear inch up his body. He was frozen as Pierre’s hand stroked Sebastian’s hair. 

“You know I love how long your hair has gotten, but what I love the most is your freckles. How they were even more obvious in the sun. We spent a lot of time outside,” he whispered, tracing his fingers along Sebastian’s nose and cheeks. “So pretty.” 

Sebastian took in shallow breaths. Act, Sebastian, Act. His brain was telling him, but his body wasn’t obeying the command. 

“Please don’t hurt me,” Sebastian whispered, closing his eyes, when he remembered he wasn’t that scared boy anymore. No, he didn’t know any kind of martial arts like Blaine did, but he knew how to push a man off him. He was taller now, older and stronger. It was like he regressed to his 13-year-old self in Pierre’s presenence. It was like scared to be touched for the first time. He was reliving those touches. How he didn’t know what to expect as the man’s hand brought him to completion. His parents hadn’t warned him about sex, and he didn’t get Sex-Ed in home schooling. 

Snap out of it, act out, act out, be strong, Sebastian thought as he grabbed that roaming hand and twisted it behind Pierre’s back, “I’m not a little boy you can manipulate and control anymore. Now get the fuck out of here before I tell my parents the truth.” 

Pierre cried out but started elbowing Sebastian, so he would release him. Sebastian got hit once before grabbing Pierre’s other arm and twisting it, too. 

Sebastian let go finally, giving Pierre a shove. Sebastian grabbed his bag and his phone and stomped down the stairs. 

“Sebby, honey, what happened up there. I heard some crashing noises.” 

“Kick him out of the house right now, Mom! He just tried to sleep with me, that pervert” Sebastian just said, telling half the truth, “I’m sleeping over Blaine’s tonight. Don’t call me.” 

Emmanuelle’s eyes were wide before they started to fill with anger. Sebastian slammed the door behind him as Emmanuelle walked up the stairs. 

… 

Sebastian kept trying to call Blaine, but he must have tried too late. He spent the last five hours driving around town contemplating whether or not he should call Blaine or sleep in a hotel. He finally decided on crashing with Blaine, but he wouldn’t answer his phone. Only Blaine would be sleeping at 9pm on a Sunday before school. 

So, Sebastian decided to come in the only way he knew how, and it wasn’t through the front door. He did not want to let the whole household know he was there. Even though Blaine’s mom was nice and liked him, he didn’t want to get on her bad side either. She was very aware of anything Blaine did under her roof. Sebastian bet it was because she had no job and had nothing better to do than watch her son. So Sebastian climbed up the fence that was along the side of Blaine’s house. He struggled on his way up; the fence was not steady. He scratched up his hands and broke part of the fence as he went. He finally reached the window and pushed it open. Thank God it was unlocked. He stumbled as he sat on the ledge, and took a breather from his climb.

“Hey, Blaine,” Sebastian whispered as he came in Blaine’s room completely. He’d like to at least warn Blaine before scaring the shit out of him. Sebastian probably was coming off as a real creeper, but Sebastian didn’t care anymore after driving around. He cried for the first hour of driving, and the other four hours he just absorbed all the misery he could felt. He just wanted someone to hold him. No, he so didn’t think that. He’s not a pussy. A little broken, but definitely not a girl. He just needed someone to talk to. That sounded much better. And Blaine, God, he looked so angelic, sleeping. He was curled up under the blankets, his hair was a mess, and so adorable. 

Sebastian let out a smile, so grateful to Blaine in his moment. His sheer beauty wiped away any hatred he had for the world. There was good in this world, and that good was Blaine. 

Sebastian dropped his bag in and stepped through the window. Winds were blowing through, so Sebastian immediately closed it, but it was too late, the cold air and Sebastian must have awoken Blaine. 

“Mmm, cold,” Blaine mumbled opening his eyes as Sebastian shut the window. 

“Shh, it’s just me,” Sebastian whispered. 

“Thought you needed to go home to think.” 

“I thought on the road actually.” 

Blaine was sitting up now, looking at Sebastian through bleary eyes, blinking. 

Sebastian tossed his jacket on the floor and stepped out of his shoes and jeans and walked towards Blaine and got under the covers. 

“Gosh you’re cold,” Blaine shivered as Sebastian wrapped his arms around Blaine, taking in his warmth. God, he felt so warm and all consuming. It was amazing. 

“I can’t tell you why I’m here. I hope that’s okay,” Sebastian whispered, and Blaine just nodded. 

“When you’re ready” was all Blaine said sleepily as he stroked Sebastian’s hair. 

Sebastian put his head on Blaine’s chest and breathed in and out. He hugged Blaine like he didn’t ever want to let go. He couldn’t let him go. Out of all the guys he could have, he hated and loved that he found this one. Hated because that meant he’d have to admit himself that he cared, and loved because how could he be so lucky? No Kurt or no Pierre would get in the way of this.

“Also, I think I broke your fence, the one attached to your house. Um, sorry, about that,” Sebastian muttered and then shrugged. 

Blaine just laughed quietly and mumbled as he nuzzled his head into Sebastian’s head, “I dunno that even happened. Sleep Seb,” Blaine grabbed a hold of Sebastian’s hair and stroked it. 

Sebastian didn’t say another word, but let out a soft sigh realizing how nice this life was, how he should have given in sooner to Blaine, but knew that no moment was right until right now.


	5. New Choices

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Blaine meets Sebastian's past lover. Sebastian really gets to know Sam.

Sectionals was in a few days and Blaine knew Sebastian was no where near ready. He couldn’t focus at all, which was very unusual for Sebastian, who was always determined to be number one. Being the best required focus and attention. Sebastian would gaze off during glee practice, and during lacrosse, he would miss shots and had to sit out on more than one occasion. 

So, now Blaine was in the middle of drilling Sebastian into singing the duet correctly, but Sebastian kept flubbing the lyrics. Blaine leaned against Sebastian with a soft sigh. They were sharing the piano bench, and Blaine was wishing for a back support right about now. They’ve been at it all night, and Blaine’s mom had to be expecting him by now, it was almost past his curfew. 

“Please just get it right, Seb. I’m so tired.” 

“Sorry, sorry,” Sebastian sighed, putting his arm around Blaine as Blaine took his hands off the piano keys and snuggled into Sebastian. 

“Something’s wrong, and you won’t tell me. We only have two days to get this right.” 

“I’ll focus, I’m focusing. You just relax. Sleep if you need to. Go lay on one of the couches or read a book.” 

“Only for a bit, and only if you finally tell me why you came through my window the other day?” 

“Only if you tell me why you were considering bisexuality?” Sebastian smirked. He was ever a flirt and a troublemaker. Blaine would not let that distract him.

“It was a drunk kiss with Rachel. I thought I liked it. Kurt shook any straightness out of me,” Blaine said with a shrug.

Sebastian shook his head, “Kurt would do that, and no, I won’t tell you why, other than I wanted to see you. Now, go. Rest.”

Sebastian let Blaine go and shoved him towards the couches. 

“Well, okay,” Blaine smiled and tinkered with the piano playfully before getting up, “I’ll let it go, but I was thinking, for the song “Begin Again,” since I’m gonna basically be Taylor Swift, and you can be Jake Gyllenhaal or whoever. You know the new man in her life, who’s so different from John Mayer, that’s the ex she’s talking about right?”

Sebastian nodded, “I don’t know who she’s singing about,” he rolled his eyes, “but that sounds perfect, especially with the Warblers backing us up. Just go rest on the couch. I’ll be fine. God, do I have to put you to bed myself? Get up and lay down. You’re not a baby.” 

Blaine rolled his eyes and walked to the couches and laid back. “Wish there were blankets and pillows,” Blaine mumbled as he curled into the couch. 

Sebastian peeked over at Blaine. Thank God Blaine’s eyes were closed. Sebastian leaned his head against the piano and took a long breath. God, why was everything a distraction? And why did he just want to curl up in bed and sleep forever? He wanted to abandon this stupid song so badly, and curl up next to Blaine even more. He’d bury his face in Blaine’s chest and take all of him in. That sweet, but manly scent and those firm arms. 

He knew the why he was being like this, but he refused to let it get to him. But it had. It was controlling him, and he hated it. He let out a shuddered breath before swallowing his tears. He looked ahead at the sheet music he played the piano and sung. This song meant a lot to Blaine and he wasn’t going to ruin it. It was going to be a long, long week, and he had to perform well with Blaine. Their relationship depended on it. 

“That was good, Seb,” Blaine mumbled from the couch, “Can we hang out with Sam tomorrow? It’s a weekend and I need you two to be friends if I ever want to be happy. Plus, we need a break from practicing.” 

Where did that even come from? Does Blaine often think of other men, who he just so happened to have kissed, while half asleep? No, Blaine wouldn’t do that. It was all a misunderstanding… he knew Blaine and Sam were still friends. 

“Uh, yeah, sure, B, but please actually fall asleep this time. I need to concentrate.”

“Okay, wake me up when you’re ready to leave.”

Sebastian nodded, turned his head to Blaine, who was now gathering their jackets and throwing them over his body. 

Sebastian smiled and let out a silent laugh. God, Blaine was so adorable. He was even putting on Sebastian’s winter hat over his head and grabbing Sebastian’s blazer as a pillow. 

Sebastian sighed softly. Sebastian wasn’t looking forward to meeting with Sam. At least this guy wasn’t disgustingly girly like Kurt. That was a plus, but still he was a threat to his and Blaine’s relationship. They weren’t even boyfriends yet, so Sam could steal Blaine away in an instant with those blonde locks and boyish smile. It didn’t even matter if Sam swore on his mom that he was straight; Sebastian was sure Sam could find a way to get Blaine. Sebastian didn’t buy this so called straightness. Sam had openly kissed his Blaine, but Blaine was someone he could trust. Sam wasn’t. He’d have to test Sam’s gayness. 

Focus, Seb, Focus, Sebastian shook his head of his thoughts and played the piano and sung his parts along with Blaine’s. He was surprised at himself that he was able to go through the song once without distraction or lack of focus. 

...

“I can’t believe we’re at Kurt’s house meeting with Sam of all people,” Sebastian complained as he took off his jacket once they got inside. 

Kurt’s house didn’t look like gay heaven like he had expected. It looked homey and quaint, and for Kurt’s family to let a homeless boy stay there must meant that Kurt wasn’t that bad of a guy… But Sebastian didn’t want to admit that. Kurt was the devil, okay, so he wasn’t that bad. Rather he was just an annoying spawn of the devil.

“He happens to live at Kurt’s,” Blaine shrugged, “And there never was a thing between me and him.” 

“We’ll see when I hit on him if he likes boys,” Sebastian remarked. He knew Blaine wouldn’t like that at all, but what had to be done had to be done. It wasn’t like he was going to kiss him. 

“Shut up,” Blaine said as Sam came tumbling down the stairs in his boxers and no shirt. Sebastian’s eyes widened. No wonder Blaine got a crush, he probably walks around naked all day, holy fuck. 

“Well at least he looks good,” Sebastian muttered. 

“Hey guys, sorry, just woke up, give me a minute. Oh, hey, Sebastian,” Sam said nonchalantly and waved before heading down to the basement. 

“Ew, don’t check out his ass, Seb,” Blaine smacked Sebastian, and Sebastian just laughed. Sebastian just couldn’t help it.

Sam came up a few minutes later. He was now dressed in jeans and a t-shirt, which Sebastian thought would do, but wasn’t as nice as just the boxers. 

“So…” Sam said. This was sure going to be awkward, and Sebastian was going to make it that much more awkward. Sam couldn’t get away with hitting on his boy. 

“So, are you sorry you macked on Blaine?” 

Sam scratched at his head, looking like a dumbass. He looked over at Blaine as if in confusion. It was a simple question. Then he finally looked at Sebastian to address the question, “Yes,” and then back to Blaine, “Blaine, I thought we were just going to hang and play video games. I set up the X-Box in the living room. I mean no harm, dudes.” 

“He’s clueless, Seb, cut it out,” Blaine whispered, and then turned to Sam, “That sounds great, thanks, Sam.” Blaine was right on that one…he lost some of his marbles. 

Blaine got up and pulled Sebastian along into the living room. Sebastian was so in trouble, but that angry look in Blaine’s eyes were super hot. 

“I should smack you for this, Seb,” Blaine muttered and sighed, knowing Sebastian had some right to interrogate his ex-crush. Blaine just didn’t like it. It was embarrassing and it reminded him of what he did, how horrible he was. 

Sebastian took a seat on the couch, “Sam, you look really good today. I noticed you were working out.” 

“Oh, yeah, man. I’m holding a workout class at McKinley if you want to come?” Sam said as he set up the X-Box. God, poor Sam. He was taking this like a champ, Blaine thought. 

“Only if you’d be there. What’d I’d do to touch a body like that?” 

Sam looked at Blaine, his eyes wide and questioning. Sebastian looked serious as ever as he looked up and down Sam’s body. 

“He wants to make sure you’re not a threat. Tell him you have no interest in guys,” Blaine sighed as if disappointed. 

“Oh, um. I have a girlfriend, Sebastian. I’m not interested in any guy. That kiss with Blaine was just an experiment. I had to show him that you were the one for him, not me. Sometimes I can’t express myself with words that easily,” Sam shrugged, “I mean when you have to strip for money. Your body becomes the way to communicate.” 

Sebastian stood there open mouthed for a minute before collecting himself, “Understood.” Teenage stripper, it all made sense now. Time for a truce… This Sam guy was very believable. 

Sebastian offered his hand to Sam and Sam shook it with a genuine smile. 

“Blaine’s just my best friend, dude, right, Blaine?” Sam said and patted Blaine’s shoulder. 

“Best bros,” Blaine nodded. 

“He was a stripper, Blaine,” Sebastian whispered and then grinned, “Super hot.” 

Sam looked back at them with wide eyes, “So you playing or what? Grab a controller.” 

Blaine and Sebastian grabbed a controller each and Sebastian just laughed, “We will get along just fine, Blaine, no worries.” 

Blaine rolled his eyes and chose his character to fight with. Blaine leaned back against the couch and Sebastian asked about the stripping business, even asking him to teach him some moves later. Sam readily agreed, saying “Anything for my bro’s boyfriend.” 

When they left, Sebastian was grinning ear to ear. “I didn’t realize he was so cool. Now, I normally don’t like poor people, but strippers I respect. Look Blaine, I’m doing Sam’s infamous move, The Windy City.” 

Sebastian gyrated against the sky, purposely pulling up his jacket and his shirt as they walked to the car. 

Blaine couldn’t help but smile, “God, now I have two guys in my life who do stripper moves. Great.” 

“You love it. Now, let’s stop at my place real fast. I need to get something, then we’ll do our homework at your house.”

“We can just do homework at your house. Seb, I want to get to know your parents, like you know mine. My mom won’t stop talking about you.” 

“I have a way with the ladies, and straight men. Just give me a few minutes with your dad, Killer,” Seb winked as Blaine continued driving. 

So far, this day was pretty good, Blaine thought with a soft sigh. His boyfriend and best friend hit it off, albeit with a rocky start. 

… 

“Blaine, I told you, you could have waited in the car.” Sebastian didn’t want Blaine in his house, not now, not with what was happening, not if he was still here. He shouldn’t be, he couldn’t be. His mom had to have kicked him out like she promised. 

“I know, but I wanted to see your house from the inside, and you know I wanted to say hi to your parents! Are they here? Wow, it’s so nice, Seb,” Blaine gushed, looking around with wide eyes. 

Sebastian laughed, pondering on Blaine’s innocence, “You’re adorable. My parents are working. Now, let’s make this fast. My math notebook is blue and spiral and says math on it.” 

Blaine playfully saluted and nodded as he followed Sebastian into the kitchen.

Sebastian looked at the kitchen table first, hoping it’d be there and then his face snapped up when he saw something moving in his peripheral vision. No, it’s not him, Sebastian told himself in his mind. He took a deep breath as if to calm himself down. 

Blaine, oblivious as usual, smiled at the man standing at the sink. 

“Hi, it’s so nice to meet you, I’m Blaine, Sebastian’s boyfriend,” Blaine offered a hand to the man. That man was short, but taller than him, and he had a charming smile on his face. 

“Pierre, nice to meet you.” Pierre looked up and down at Blaine like he was wondering if he was a threat or not. 

“Oh my Gosh, you’re French. Wow, so cool. I really only know some Italian.” 

“Blaine,” Sebastian hesitated, pulling Blaine back by the shoulder. 

“What? What is it?” 

Sebastian gave Blaine a look and then turned to Pierre, “I thought my mom kicked you out.” 

“Nope, she invited me to stay for the week. I told her that you were delusional.” 

“What-what’s going on Seb?” Blaine mumbled, looking between them. 

His mom could have never believed that. He was uninvited yet still crashing. Maybe his age didn’t matter, Sebastian took another deep breath, this time, it hurt his lungs. His lungs didn’t want the air he was taking in as he struggled for breath.

“I’ll-I’ll tell you later. Come on, let’s go to my room and see if my book is there,” Sebastian said, finally taking in a breath. His tone was tense and urgent. 

Sebastian ran up the stairs. Blaine gave Pierre an apologetic look before following Sebastian upstairs. 

Sebastian was frantically pacing his rooming and then started pulling it apart so suddenly that Blaine didn’t know what to make of it or what to do about it. 

Sebastian was pulling his pillows and blankets off his queen sized bed and then his mattress, which he struggled with. He let out a loud scream of frustration as he pulled on the mattress and stopped midway when he couldn’t get it on the floor. Sebastian’s face fell into his hands and his hands ran up his face to his head and pulled at his long hair, making it unruly. God, Blaine just wanted to hug him and pat down his hair, what was wrong? Sebastian looked at Blaine like death took over. His eyes so downtrodden as he reached for the lamp, grabbed a hold of it, but stopped himself as if he was finally really seeing Blaine standing there with wide eyes. It was as if the first time he looked at Blaine, his eyes were so glazed over with tears that Sebastian didn’t see him. Sebastian was blind with fear and anger. 

“Sebastian?” Blaine asked, unsure. Sebastian looked like he wanted to cry, and Blaine felt like he wanted to cry right along side him. “What’s wrong? You’re not okay.” 

“You wouldn’t understand.” Sebastian cried out as he dropped the lamp on the floor half-heartedly. It shattered. Sebastian blinked, and thought for a moment. His face scrunching up in anger as shoved over his side table. 

“Sebastian! Stop!” Blaine screamed as he jumped up. The table nearly caught his toes. Blaine jumped over the table without a second thought and grabbed a tight hold of Sebastian. He gripped both of his shoulders as Sebastian struggled against Blaine’s arms, letting out strangled cries. Blaine finally got a hold of him. Sebastian was like a fish out of water, gasping and struggling until Blaine held him tightly. 

“Shh, shh,” Blaine whispered, “Please relax,” Blaine nuzzled his head into Sebastian’s chest as Sebastian gave up and fell against Blaine’s body and started to cry. Blaine settled slowly onto the mattress on the floor, bringing Sebastian with him. Blaine just held him for what seemed like hours. God, what was wrong with Sebastian? Sebastian had been angry before, but it wasn’t like this? It wasn’t etched in madness and fear and shame. 

“He, he’s the one, Blaine,” Sebastian whispered. His body was shaking still, this time it seemed out of nerves. 

Blaine eyes widened, “Oh my God,” Blaine whispered, “It’s okay, it’s okay,” Blaine held him. “Shh, don’t cry, don’t get mad.” 

“Why shouldn’t I? Everyday since he came back, I feel like not moving on. I can’t focus, you know that, I don’t even have passions anymore. You’re like the only thing that keeps me from getting up everyday and going to school.” 

“Because your life is so much better now? Because I love you? I love you, Sebastian!” Blaine said, shaking Sebastian as if to get his point across even more. 

Sebastian sniffled and looked up at Blaine, who held him so securely and lovingly like he never was going to let go. Blaine was beautiful and his eyes showered him with love. Blaine was right. Sebastian’s life was better despite it all falling down on him. There was a time when he’d club just to void all the feelings in his brain. Now, this encounter of Pierre was maybe a blessing in disguise, a way to finally deal and move on. He could now embrace Blaine. He could love Blaine. 

Sebastian looked longingly at Blaine before he spoke, “Love you, too.” 

Blaine stroked Sebastian’s face, and slowly leaned into him, glancing down at Sebastian’s lips. “Is this okay?” Blaine whispered. Sebastian nodded as he, too, leaned into Blaine and captured Blaine’s lips in his. 

“More than okay,” Sebastian whispered into the kiss as he laid back on the bed, dragging Blaine along with him. They laid side by side kissing for a few moments before Sebastian straddled Blaine, looking down at him, “God, you’re beautiful. How the heck am I so lucky?” 

“You just are, and you can stay with me till that fucker leaves your house,” Blaine said with subtle anger before saying softly, “We should get going,” Blaine gently brushed Sebastian’s hip and Sebastian got off him with a soft sigh. 

“I just can’t believe my mom would let him stay with us after I told her he tried to sleep with me.” 

“He what? He had the nerve after all he did to you?” Blaine’s face construed into anger and his fists were clenched tightly. Sebastian hadn’t seen anything like it. Blaine was normally either really happy or really sad. “I’m gonna kill him!” 

“It’s okay, Blaine. My mom didn’t know the whole truth. I better tell her,” Sebastian sighed as he sat up, “Then she’ll really know me for the first time ever. How gullible I was, how stupid, to think I trusted him. He was my teacher, Blaine.” 

“Of course you trusted him. He was supposed to be a trusted figure. It’s not your fault. Now come on,” Blaine gently let go of Sebastian and got up. He pulled Sebastian up off the mattress. 

“Let’s get out of here. Go to my car,” Blaine handed him the keys. 

Sebastian looked at him, “What are you going to do?” 

Blaine just shook his head, “Go.” Sebastian nodded and walked downstairs and to the front door of his house. If Blaine thought he could deal with Pierre, he was wrong. Pierre was sick minded and manipulative. Sebastian went to go to the car, but stopped himself once he stood outside. What if Blaine needed him? Blaine boxed, but could he handle this crazy fucker? Sebastian couldn’t let Blaine get hurt on his watch. 

Blaine slowly went down the stairs and went into the kitchen. Pierre was still standing there now with a mug in his hand, sipping his beverage so slowly as if he was elegant. 

“Oh, hey there, Pierre,” Blaine said innocently. He purposely unclenched his fists to seem calmer than he felt. 

“Oh, Blaine. Hello,” Pierre replied, setting his mug down. 

Blaine inched closer to him. Blaine’s eyes were colder than they ever had been. “Don’t you dare touch my boyfriend again, got it?” Blaine swung a punch without any warning right in Pierre’s face. 

“Never again! I don’t want to see you again! Go back to where you came from!” Blaine was turning red now as he swung another and another before stopping once Pierre was on the ground. 

Pierre laid there, holding his face, “You’re so right,” Pierre cried. “I’m sick.” 

“Fucking disgusting. We will send you to jail, where you will be raped and then murdered,” Blaine whispered darkly, “Just wait for it, you sick fuck.” Blaine said before turning to see Sebastian there. His eyes didn’t even lighten at the sight of Sebastian there. He just walked up to him without a word. 

Sebastian stood at the door. His mouth and eyes wide. He did not expect Blaine to be so tough and so brave. He was like a Dothraki warrior with rage from those Game of Thrones books... 

“Holy fuck, Blaine.” He gulped, “Let’s get out of here, holy shit, I can’t believe you did that. Wow,” Sebastian said. A dark smile crept onto Sebastian’s lips as if payback felt good, and as if Blaine’s aggression was surprisingly sexy. 

“I didn’t realize how much of a fucking badass you were, holy, oh my God, Blaine,” Sebastian exclaimed, still in shock, “Thank you,” Sebastian pulled Blaine to him and looked into his eyes. Blaine half smiled half frowned as if reality finally hit him. Blaine looked like he was going to cry as his lip turned into a pout and he let out a small whimper. 

“God, don’t cry, fuck, baby,” Sebastian pouted, carting Blaine into the hallway so they’d have some privacy. They had to get away from that sick fuck.

“I never actually hurt someone before. This rage just overtook my body, Seb,” Blaine sniffled as he bottom lip quivered. Blaine let out a quiet cry. 

“No, no baby, come here,” Sebastian pulled Blaine to him until he was flush against him, “That was so fucking hot. I’m can’t not do this, okay?” Sebastian said as he leaned down. His lips gently brushed Blaine’s lips, and then nipped at Blaine’s bottom lip that was jutted out. Sebastian brought it into his mouth and sucking on it with a low moan. 

“Mmm,” Blaine mumbled, snaking his tongue out to find Sebastian’s. The tears that were in his eyes fell as he closed his eyes to kiss Sebastian some more. He slowly moved his tongue against Sebastian’s with so much love and passion and protection. 

“My hand really hurts now, Seb,” Blaine murmured into the kiss before pulling away for some air. He extended his fist out to Seb, who took it in his hand and gently touched it. 

“We’ll get you ice before we get out of here,” Sebastian breathed out, letting go of his hand. 

Seb moved towards the kitchen. Blaine grabbed him and pulled him back. “I’ll get it, you stay here.” 

“I got to face this,” Sebastian just said as he removed Blaine’s hand from his jacket. Sebastian went into the freeze grabbing an icepack, but not before looking down at Pierre who laid there frightened on the floor. 

“Told you my boyfriend would fuck you up. Now get out of here. Expect a call from my attorney,” Seb glared and then spit in his face, before turning back to Blaine, who was now in the kitchen, and pushing Blaine out the door. 

… 

They both sat in Blaine’s car as Blaine drove them to his house.

“So, I’m guessing we’re boyfriends now?” Blaine asked, glancing at Sebastian as he drove. Sebastian was surprisingly smiling, but Blaine felt numb. He never beat someone up before, and though it was for good reasons, it was scary how he couldn’t help himself. It was this drive inside of him that told him to lose it on this ass butt of a man. 

“I think so, yeah. We just admitted we love each other, and I feel free for the first time in a while, Blaine.” 

“Good, we’re boyfriends,” Blaine smiled, “But that was sort of scary, Sebastian. I don’t know what got into me, or what got into you. Yeah, I get angry sometimes, but I rarely ever act on it, and you got so upset, God, I just had to defend you,” Blaine’s voice sounded like there were tears in it. 

“Glad you did, Blaine.” 

 

**Epilogue**

Blaine stood next to Sebastian on the stage. It didn’t matter that Blaine’s old school was watching intently, ready to report back to Kurt. It also didn’t matter if they won or not. All that mattered was that they were together on this stage. The way Sebastian looked at him as they sang spoke volumes… it was obvious they were in love just because Sebastian’s attention was on Blaine, and Blaine only. 

And you throw your head back laughing  
Like a little kid I think it's strange that you think I'm funny cause  
He never did I've been spending the last 8 months  
Thinking all love ever does   
Is break and burn and end  
But on a Wednesday in a cafe I watched it begin again.

And the song was true. It told truths about their relationship that neither could state without an accompanying song. In a café they met for the first time in a long time. The café meeting set forth a chain reaction of even more gatherings, some unexpected but most wanted. In that café, they watched love begin again when love and life felt hopeless. They just didn’t know it till they looked back and analyzed every small detail: every look, every caring remark, every smile. Hope was in that café, love was formed in that café, and Sebastian and Blaine were in it for the long run with hope tailing on their sleeves, despite the difficult journey to get there.

**Author's Note:**

> Thoughts? Comments?


End file.
